Reign of the Supermen #128: Half-Superman

Source: Action Comics #290 (1962)
Type: Red K TransformationSo Superman is looking for Krypto in deep space and finds him chasing a comet with a red kryptonite tip. This zaps both Kryptonians so that the side facing the comet is de-powered. The pink is just for our benefit and isn't visible to others.

So of course, this becomes a story about Lois Lane trying to prove Clark Kent is Superman. OF COURSE, I SAY!

See, a tiny meteor makes a little cut in Superman's vulnerable left side, and Lois notices it on Clark's neck. So he CAN'T be Superman! But what if she finds the same cut on Superman? He puts flesh-colored adhesive on it, so okay, but then she spends the entire day following Superman by helicopter as part of a story, so she notices he's using only one side of his body. So Superman has to work extra hard not only to accomplish all his "scheduled" feats, but also to hide his disability from Lois!

The Silver Age Superman is a really busy guy. Not only does he keep a job at the Daily Planet and presumably (there's no evidence of it in this story) keeps Metropolis crime-free, he also helps build a bridge, tests explosive shells for the military, and creates live special effects for a movie crew. Throw in screwing with Lois, and he's got a couple of full plates! For example, that movie thing. He's got to guide burning blimps to safe landing zones. So of course, with one side vulnerable, he has to build himself an artificial steel arm!
But Lois is on to him!
In the end, it all comes down to a final test in which Lois cuts a lock of hair from Clark's head on his left side, and then Splinter Cells herself to Clark's right side while he takes a nap.
Snip! Thank God Superman knew she would do that and put his clothes on backwards and crafted a mask of the back of his head.
THANK GOD, I SAY!

5 comments:

Steve said...

The insane schemes he comes up with in these old comics are so funny!

Robert said...

And ace reporter Lois Lane didn't even notice that his elbows and knees bent the wrong way?

Mort Weisenger was either certifiably insane or he just didn't give a damn. Maybe both.

Siskoid said...

No, thanks to super-contortionism!

Robert said...

Then there's also the fact that the rubber mask has hair on it, so it wasn't even Superman's hair Lois was cutting.

The funny thing about super-contortionism is I'm not 100% sure you were joking about it.

Prime Director said...

The power of mint and berries, yet with a tasty, satisfying crunch.

Shablagoo!

 

Blog Archive

Category

5 Things to Like Activities Advice Alien Nation Aliens Say the Darndest Things Alpha Flight Amalgam Ambush Bug Animal Man anime Aquaman Archetypes Archie Heroes Arrowed Asterix Atom Avengers Awards Babylon 5 Batman Battle Shovel Battlestar Galactica Black Canary BnB 2-in1 Books Booster Gold Buffy Canada Captain America Captain Marvel Cat CCGs Charlton Circles of Hell Class Comics Comics Code Approved Conan Contest Cooking Crisis Daredevil Dating Kara Zor-El Dating Lois Lane Dating Lucy Lane Dating Princess Diana DCAU Deadman Dial H Dice Dinosaur Island Dinosaurs Director Profiles Doctor Who Doom Patrol Down the Rabbit Hole Dr. Strange Encyclopedia Fantastic Four Fashion Nightmares Fiasco Films Within Films Flash Flushpoint Foldees French Friday Night Fights Fun with Covers FW Team-Up Galleries Game design Gaming Geekly roundup Geeks Anonymous Geekwear Gimme That Star Trek Godzilla Golden Age Grant Morrison Great Match-Ups of Science Fiction Green Arrow Green Lantern Hawkman Hero Points Podcast Holidays House of Mystery Hulk Human Target Improv Inspiration Intersect Invasion Invasion Podcast Iron Man Jack Kirby Jimmy Olsen JLA JSA Judge Dredd K9 the Series Kirby Motivationals Krypto Kung Fu Learning to Fly Legion Letters pages Liveblog Lonely Hearts Podcast Lord of the Rings Machine Man Motivationals Man-Thing Marquee Masters of the Universe Memes Memorable Moments Metal Men Metamorpho Micronauts Millennium Mini-Comics Monday Morning Macking Movies Mr. Terrific Music Nelvana of the Northern Lights Nightmare Fuel Number Ones Obituaries oHOTmu OR NOT? Old52 One Panel Outsiders Panels from Sheena Paper Dolls Play Podcast Polls Questionable Fridays Radio Rants Reaganocomics Recollected Red Bee Red Tornado Reign Retro-Comics Reviews Rom RPGs Sandman Sapphire & Steel Sarah Jane Adventures Saturday Morning Cartoons SBG for Girls Seasons of DWAITAS Secret Origins Podcast Secret Wars SF Shut Up Star Boy Silver Age Siskoid as Editor Siskoid's Mailbox Space 1999 Spectre Spider-Man Spring Cleaning ST non-fiction ST novels: DS9 ST novels: S.C.E. ST novels: The Shat ST novels: TNG ST novels: TOS Star Trek Streaky Suicide Squad Supergirl Superman Supershill Swamp Thing Tales from Earth-Prime Team Horrible Teen Titans That Franchise I Never Talk About The Prisoner The Thing Then and Now Theory Thor Thursdays of Two Worlds Time Capsule Timeslip Tintin Torchwood Tourist Traps of the Forgotten Realms Toys Turnarounds TV V Waking Life Warehouse 13 Websites What If? Who's This? Whoniverse-B Wikileaked Wonder Woman X-Files X-Men Zero Hour Strikes Zine