Reign of the Supermen #128: Half-Superman

Source: Action Comics #290 (1962)
Type: Red K TransformationSo Superman is looking for Krypto in deep space and finds him chasing a comet with a red kryptonite tip. This zaps both Kryptonians so that the side facing the comet is de-powered. The pink is just for our benefit and isn't visible to others.

So of course, this becomes a story about Lois Lane trying to prove Clark Kent is Superman. OF COURSE, I SAY!

See, a tiny meteor makes a little cut in Superman's vulnerable left side, and Lois notices it on Clark's neck. So he CAN'T be Superman! But what if she finds the same cut on Superman? He puts flesh-colored adhesive on it, so okay, but then she spends the entire day following Superman by helicopter as part of a story, so she notices he's using only one side of his body. So Superman has to work extra hard not only to accomplish all his "scheduled" feats, but also to hide his disability from Lois!

The Silver Age Superman is a really busy guy. Not only does he keep a job at the Daily Planet and presumably (there's no evidence of it in this story) keeps Metropolis crime-free, he also helps build a bridge, tests explosive shells for the military, and creates live special effects for a movie crew. Throw in screwing with Lois, and he's got a couple of full plates! For example, that movie thing. He's got to guide burning blimps to safe landing zones. So of course, with one side vulnerable, he has to build himself an artificial steel arm!
But Lois is on to him!
In the end, it all comes down to a final test in which Lois cuts a lock of hair from Clark's head on his left side, and then Splinter Cells herself to Clark's right side while he takes a nap.
Snip! Thank God Superman knew she would do that and put his clothes on backwards and crafted a mask of the back of his head.


Steve said...

The insane schemes he comes up with in these old comics are so funny!

Robert said...

And ace reporter Lois Lane didn't even notice that his elbows and knees bent the wrong way?

Mort Weisenger was either certifiably insane or he just didn't give a damn. Maybe both.

Siskoid said...

No, thanks to super-contortionism!

Robert said...

Then there's also the fact that the rubber mask has hair on it, so it wasn't even Superman's hair Lois was cutting.

The funny thing about super-contortionism is I'm not 100% sure you were joking about it.

Prime Director said...

The power of mint and berries, yet with a tasty, satisfying crunch.



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