Reign of the Supermen #238: Super-Caveman

Source: World's Finest Comics #138 (1963)
Type: DisguiseFour years before yesterday's story took place, science was actually in better shape. To find primitive homo sapiens, we'll actually go back 50,000 years, a world populated by woolly rhinos and sabertooth tigers rather than thunder lizards. Not to say "The Secret of the Captive Cavemen" is water-tight...

It starts in Gotham City when Batman & Robin come across an alien invasion. The alien takes a suicide pill rather than be captured (harsh!), but not before revealing that his people can fly back in time to grab primitive humans who will better succumb to their "Z-beam". The Dynamic Duo enlist the aid of Superman and they all meet up in prehistory (Batman knows this time machine inventor, long story...). They get there with time to spare and take pains disguising themselves as cave people.
Animal hair and glue, wanton destruction of so-called invulnerable costumes, and acting dumb are all part of the ruse. But not actually dressing up in skins. That would be silly.

The aliens arrive, Z-beam everyone and get them aboard their spaceship, including our heroes. It flies back to the present and to a planet (with a red sun, haha Superman) where they are all forced to mine "drakkium" which kryptonite to the aliens, until refined when it becomes kryptonite to everybody else. Good thing there's an indigenous dogosaurus to pull the World's Finest heroes out of danger!
Having discovered the aliens are rebels to their own people, the next step is to break their hold over the cave people. Superman finds a copse of hairy trees which gives him an idea that cannot fail:
An amazing likeness and in so little time too. Superman should work on the Walking with series (and instead of bringing a camera into prehistory, he would of course build giant life-like puppets with found materials). Then they defeat the aliens and get the rightful government to bring them back to the past, making sure my ancestor is on Earth so I can eventually be born (thanks!) before walking into the project accelerator... and vanishing!


Mr. Morbid's House Of Fun said...

It was the silver-age man, of course Superman could whip up a life-like replica of a Sabertooth tiger with some dead trees. That's why he's called Superman right? Damn that was a crazy time period huh? Of course if it was done know, Batman would've won the whole thing, with Superman supplying the muscle.

Siskoid said...

Well, where do you think they got the glue from?

Mr. Morbid's House Of Fun said...

It's either Bat-Glue or Super-Spit, take your pick. Now that I just typed super-spit, numerous porn scenes come to mind. Uh-Oh!

Anonymous said...

I like to think they got their glue from the dairy protein casein, just so there would be scenes of them frantically milking space monsters.


Blog Archive


5 Things to Like Activities Advice Alien Nation Aliens Say the Darndest Things Alpha Flight Amalgam Ambush Bug Animal Man anime Aquaman Archetypes Archie Heroes Arrowed Asterix Atom Avengers Awards Babylon 5 Batman Battle Shovel Battlestar Galactica Black Canary BnB 2-in1 Books Booster Gold Buffy Canada Captain America Captain Marvel Cat CCGs Charlton Circles of Hell Class Comics Comics Code Approved Conan Contest Cooking Crisis Daredevil Dating Kara Zor-El Dating Lois Lane Dating Lucy Lane Dating Princess Diana DCAU Deadman Dial H Dice Dinosaur Island Dinosaurs Director Profiles Doctor Who Doom Patrol Down the Rabbit Hole Dr. Strange Encyclopedia Fantastic Four Fashion Nightmares Fiasco Films Within Films Flash Flushpoint Foldees French Friday Night Fights Fun with Covers FW Team-Up Galleries Game design Gaming Geekly roundup Geeks Anonymous Geekwear Gimme That Star Trek Godzilla Golden Age Grant Morrison Great Match-Ups of Science Fiction Green Arrow Green Lantern Hawkman Hero Points Podcast Holidays House of Mystery Hulk Human Target Improv Inspiration Intersect Invasion Invasion Podcast Iron Man Jack Kirby Jimmy Olsen JLA JSA Judge Dredd K9 the Series Kirby Motivationals Krypto Kung Fu Learning to Fly Legion Letters pages Liveblog Lonely Hearts Podcast Lord of the Rings Machine Man Motivationals Man-Thing Marquee Masters of the Universe Memes Memorable Moments Metal Men Metamorpho Micronauts Millennium Mini-Comics Monday Morning Macking Movies Mr. Terrific Music Nelvana of the Northern Lights Nightmare Fuel Number Ones Obituaries oHOTmu OR NOT? Old52 One Panel Orville Outsiders Panels from Sheena Paper Dolls Play Podcast Polls Questionable Fridays Radio Rants Reaganocomics Recollected Red Bee Red Tornado Reign Retro-Comics Reviews Rom RPGs Sandman Sapphire & Steel Sarah Jane Adventures Saturday Morning Cartoons SBG for Girls Seasons of DWAITAS Secret Origins Podcast Secret Wars SF Shut Up Star Boy Silver Age Siskoid as Editor Siskoid's Mailbox Space 1999 Spectre Spider-Man Spring Cleaning ST non-fiction ST novels: DS9 ST novels: S.C.E. ST novels: The Shat ST novels: TNG ST novels: TOS Star Trek Streaky Suicide Squad Supergirl Superman Supershill Swamp Thing Tales from Earth-Prime Team Horrible Teen Titans That Franchise I Never Talk About The Prisoner The Thing Then and Now Theory Thor Thursdays of Two Worlds Time Capsule Timeslip Tintin Torchwood Tourist Traps of the Forgotten Realms Toys Turnarounds TV V Waking Life Warehouse 13 Websites What If? Who's This? Whoniverse-B Wikileaked Wonder Woman X-Files X-Men Zero Hour Strikes Zine