Reign of the Supermen #435: Super-Cat

Source: Superman's Girlfriend, Lois Lane #70-71 (1966-67)
Type: TransformationWarning: Silver Age madness ahead. Silver Age madness that conspires to make this cover the last panel of the issue:
Let me get through the opening relatively quickly. A gigantic artificial ROC flies over Metropolis dumping fliers for a new bird exhibit to be held at a nearby CASTLE (with a MOAT and everything), which coincides with the Penguin breaking out of prison thanks to robot HUMMINGBIRDS. He'll be after the bird collection for sure! Our girl reporter Lois Lane sneaks into the castle to stay one step ahead of the story, but it's not the Penguin she finds, it's Catwoman! She plans to steal the birds, frame the Penguin, then swoop in and rob his HQ (which she could have done while he was in jail last week, but whatever). Ever the improviser, she adds Lois to her plan and hypnotizes her into thinking SHE'S Catwoman, laying in a suggestion that she should kill the Penguin when he comes a-calling, so she can then retire, rich and scott free while Lois Lane hangs for her crimes. The hypnosis works, and Lois loses all fear of Selina's big cats.
Superman, Batman and Robin capture the Penguin before Lois gets a shot at him, but as Clark Kent walks around the crime scene to get a story into the paper, he comes across Cat-Lois who gets her feral felines (controlled via weaponized catnip) to attack him. His suit is ripped to shreds and his super-identity exposed, but don't worry, this is an hypnosis story. She'll forget the whole damn thing later. Cue yet another sequence of Superman punching lions and tigers(TM).
He takes them to the zoo, but when he comes back to fix Lois, the real Catwoman's already been there. She's broken Lois' trance, trapped her in a bird-quarium, and makes like SHE'S Lois. Superman can't tell the difference because she acts exactly like Lois would, begging for kisses and wedding bands and such.
Batman is gonna be pissssssssssssed! But don't count Lois out just yet. She crafts protective gloves out of bird feathers and punches her way out of the bird cage!
Meanwhile, Superman's super-kiss didn't snap "Lois" out of her trance, so he's letting her lead him to Catwoman's lair, the Catacombs. Because when she realizes she doesn't KNOW where the Catacombs is, she might snap out of it. Except she really does know, so she can lead him there for realz. To follow them, Lois steals the Kitty Car, and luckily, Catwoman is as lazy as her namesake:
At the Catacombs, Catwoman pulls out the recently stolen Circe's Wand and tries it out. All it takes to activate a spell is to make up some rhyme, apparently.
"Some uncanny power is forcing me to drop on all fours." Indeed. When Lois arrives, she's attacked my mutant felines, but Super-Cat saves her, and then shows off his Lassie-like communication powers.
Catwoman puts Super-Cat in a kryptonite cage originally meant for Streaky (until she found out he wasn't a Kryptonian) and a cat fight ensues as per the cover. Surprisingly for a Silver Age story, the issue is to be continued in the first 9 pages of the next issue. There, Lois is knocked out and dreams that she's been turned into a mouse and that Super-Cat is about to gobble her up. When she comes to, Batman and Robin have captured Catwoman, and since the wand is out of charges, it leaves Lois with only one recourse - taking care of an embarrassed Super-Cat.
The good news is, she's shacking up with Superman. The bad news is, it's as a spinster cat lady. The cat can type, so they can communicate via typewriter, but it's the end of Superman's career. Or is it? When President Johnson calls Lois to the White House, she brings her kitty and good thing too. See, the U.S. sent some experimental mice to the moon and Superman promised to bring them back and now he's nowhere to be found. Super-Cat flies off and returns the mouse capsule, I kid you not, by PUNCHING IT BACK TO EARTH!
Finally, Lois breaks down and goes to see her greatest rival, Lana Lang. Lana's dad is an archaeologist, so maybe she knows some mystical way to fix things. Turns out, daddy's just brought back some Egyptian artifacts, including a "cat's paw" that grants a single wish. Lana's thinking about becoming royalty or superhuman, but Lois' story moves her.
See? Told you all you needed to work magic was an improvised rhyme. It works too. And Superman's all, like, Lana you sacrificed your wish for me and I want to marry youuuuuuu. And Lois is all, like, BITCH!!! You know, like they always do in these stories.

6 comments:

SallyP said...

For sheer outrageous lunacy, there is just nothing quite like the Silver Age. Gosh, if only they did stuff like this now, instead of just killing or dismembering everyone.

Siskoid said...

Agreed. And that's why I just created a Silver Age tag on the blog, so that I can click it and look back at various Silver Age related posts when I need to cheer myself up.

Wayne Allen Sallee said...

I own this book because Catwoman is in it and I probably paid a buck for it, I make no apologies. I appreciate your letting me know how it turned out.

Siskoid said...

You're not made of stone, we understand.

Darci said...

LL #s 70 & 71 were the very first appearance of Catwoman in the Silver Age. She'd been missing since the introduction of the Comics Code. Funny that it was Mort Weisinger's idea (I presume), not Julie Schwartz's. Selina didn't appear in a Batman title until Detective Comics #369 (Nov 1967), a year later.

Siskoid said...

Wow, that's crazy! It's like LL was a ghetto book where they could put all the female character they didn't want messing up their boys' comics.

 

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