Monday, January 21, 2013

FINALLY! The Origin of Katana (Only Good Until New52)

Batman and the Outsiders 12 - Pages 8-14
We were promised an origin story and by George, we're going to get one! A Japanese origin, so I can't guarantee Mike Barr's Batman will understand it anymore than he knows what a "samurai" is. Nunchaku was perhaps the only one to come out of the sword, and yet...
Oh no, she DIDN'T! "Yeah Batman, you go talk to the cops about magic swords and 'samurai' and we'll make ourselves useful (like never before)." ARE the Outsiders terrible heroes, or has Batman been holding them back? Little bit of columns A & B, I figure. So now we have Katana in a white shirt, seeing as her hubbie ripped up her top, but how much you wanna bet another one appears by the climax? Or is she planning on doing lots of sewing and that's what she means about occupying her time?
Batman can get a little rough when you're holding out on him. What IS Katana holding so tightly in her hand? And has been holding all the way back to the hotel and while she was changing and getting medical attention?
Of course, a fragile origami castle! It's still standing too, makes perfect sense. And when you go back to see where Maseo might have left it, I'm afraid you can't. And it would have been so easy to add a small, mysterious piece of debris falling out of his open hand at the bottom of page 5. I guess the only way to understand this vital clue is for Katana to tell us her origin story. There's just no other way. And it better have something about super-origami in it, or I won't be satisfied. Peer pressure her into it, guys!
And we're off. Katana starts way too early, with stories about playing with dogs and stuff. Move it, girl.
School, and the dojo, and a love triangle, blablabla. So you went on some awkward dates and strung at least one of these guys along, who cares? We all know who you picked.
Takeo didn't take it well, boycotted the wedding, and joined the Yakuza somewhere in there. There's very little here we didn't know. What's next? Shopping for a house? Oh Lord, I was right:
AH! Finally a shocker: Katana has TWIN CHILDREN! I bet Halo doesn't know she has surrogate brothers! Possibly, she would wonder why they are miniature humans. Meanwhile, Takeo has fallen prey to "exotic tastes", like brunettes, leather and smokers. Oh, and weapons.
Is there ANY reason why one of the matched swords is a magic soul-sucker and the other is a normal blade? It's not explained. But one fetish follows another, in Takeo's life. You rub at it, bad ninja, you rub at it. But he got bored with doing that, so he went to see his brother in his low-security housing.
And like the bad ninja he is, he did so stealthily.
A loud entrance, taking off his mask as soon as he walks in... the big question is why dress up as a ninja at all? Breaking and entering isn't the worst thing that can happen to a traditional Japanese home though. FIRE is the worst thing that can happen.
You know, there might be a horrifying reason why we've never heard of Katana's kids before...
So the house goes up like a tinderbox, which means it was an awesome idea to put a romantic candle on the floor, parents. And now Maseo's dead (soul sucked) and he's speaking to Tatsu from beyond the grave through the blade and telling her... NOT to go after her kids?!
What do you mean, they're lost? We just heard their voice in the previous panel! All of a sudden, they're dead, and the sword knows? And you're gonna believe that and save yourself? Why not try anyway? It's probably just smoke inhalation, and people can be brought back from that if you get to them early. Geez, what a hero FAIL! But go on, you're a future Outsider, why don't you just RUN.
And she ran all the way to Markovia (B&TO #1) where Karnz was the first to know her vengeance. If I were the candle manufacturer, I'd be real worried by now. I'm not saying Karnz was a good guy, but he just sold Takeo the sword. It's not like he had anything to do with her family's murder. But hey, all roads lead to Markovia, apparently. That's Tatsu's story and she's sticking to it, even though she does misremember her haircut at the time.

Next up: What about the sword's powers? And what's the origami castle mean? That's why Batman asked, isn't it?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Yes, Maseo! You won our first salsa contest, but I'm ready for a rematch!". I mean, weren't they dancing in the first argument?

Roger

Siskoid said...

Argentinian tango, I think.

Wriphe said...

What If?... the Punisher had been Japanese, refused to save his children, and found his wife's soul surviving as his favorite handgun? No, I'll pass on that issue, thank you, Uatu.

Siskoid said...

And yet, I'm sure the 90s series did just such a story. I'm just unwilling to check.