Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Outsiders Out, "Samurais" In

Batman and the Outsiders 12 - Pages 14-17
Katana just told us her life story, most of which we could infer from what has gone before. What she HASN'T told us is how her sword came about its soul-sucking powers. Any chance we get some of that here? How about a lengthy and vague info-dump, maybe with a grammatical error in it?
Ahh, that hits the spot. Muramasa's swords are only SOMETIMES cursed, by accident, I guess, as swords sometimes are, and what a curse! It makes evil people commit evil acts! Harsh! You mean to tell me, an evil dude with a sword is cursed to use that sword in an evil way? Is the curse called HUMAN FREAKING NATURE?! I'd also like to point out that Tatsu's whole plan for revenge hinged on Takeo one day tracking her down. The Outsiders - We don't know what proactive means. But do go on, I didn't mean to interrupt.
Aw. I was criticizing all over this heartfelt moment. Sorry girl, but that's what happens when you tell me things I ALREADY KNOW. Now let's get to some action. Surely, the origami castle is a pertinent clue as to where the "Samurais" (as Batman calls them) are going, right?
Ah, no. Instead, we're going to follow the glowing shuriken that were apparently still stuck in Metamorpho's back. And can someone please tell him shuriken ARE what Shuriken throws? Before he gets his ears pierced, I mean. Or maybe you can just jump to conclusions.
If they're glowing that brightly away from Shuriken, they'll blaze right over your stealth powers when you close in, Batman. Stealth powers you're currently using to whisper orders at Halo. Cut to... the castle.
I guess it looks like the origami model, but one thing still nags at me: If Maseo dreads having to kill Tatsu and was sincere when he told her not to find him and stay safe, why DID he give her that clue? As we'll see, the Samurais are just going to kill some Westerner criminals, why risk having Katana show up in the middle of a war zone? See? These guys probably have it coming:
Gun safety, kids. Even crooked gun thugs know it's important. Rule #1: Don't relax when you're packing. Understand?
Is that Halo in the bushes? Why do I always have to repeat myself. No, wait, a star-shaped glowy thing? Must be Shuriken and her crew (and yeah, if her throwing stars glow in close proximity to one another, she should be glowing brighter than Halo, don't think about it too hard - Barr certainly didn't).
Stoneaxe has no idea what they're doing there... NOR DO WE REALLY. Blowdart, you're up.
Quick, snarky, effective. The Outsiders should recruit this guy.
"Please, Tatsu... Don't follow the clue I left for you to follow!" Moron. Speaking of morons, this plan from Fisher, the Gotham(?) crime boss:
Yep, the Yakuza are sure to take your killing one of their leaders well. That's not going to cause a gang war AT ALL. Way to bring a knife to a Dispossessed Soul Assassins fight.

Let's end this tomorrow, with the arrival of the Outsiders. And as promised, ONE OUTSIDER WILL DIE!!! (Place your bets, no cheating, no checking, no remembering.)


Wriphe said...

"Way to bring a knife to a Dispossessed Soul Assassins fight."

If anyone EVER asks you why you read comic books, repeat that line.

On the other hand, if anyone ever asks you why you read Outsiders comic books, deny it.

Siskoid said...

If blogger allowed me to favorite a comment, I would do so.