Kung Fu Friday Moments: The KarateKid-a-Thon

Last Saturday, we spent some 10 hours watching all 5 Karate Kid movies. I decided to live-tweet the event and since it makes for a cheap and easy post, let me reprint those tweets here (plus any guest comments from the Twitterverse).

Preambles
Karate Kid-a-thon starts at 1h. Probably some mild live tweeting. Call me Siskoid-San.
@yvesdoucet: @Siskoid Surely, you will wax-on/wax-off poetic about the films? #désolé
@Stonger4: The KKpt.1 scene of Mr. Miyagi jumping the fence and kicking the shit out of the brats?Watched it overN'over at least 200X as a kid
Karate Kid is all about brunettes vs. blonds. Daniel-San shouldn't have gone after their women #KarateKid
@yvesdoucet: "This school sucks, man. Sucks."
#KarateKid Nothing like moving across a whole continent to get a waitress job.
#KarateKid So are they going to address Mr. Miyagi's drinking problem, or is this just 1984?
#KarateKid Of course Daniel-San was going to pick that car. You never forget your first wax job. #cough
#KarateKid Elisabeth Shue's entire arc is about driving other people's cars.
#KarateKid Ah good, Elisabeth Shue knows how tournaments works. See girls? It pays to listen to your boy talk about his boring interests
#KarateKid So did Elisabeth Shue's parents get a divorce? (Maybe I'm invested in the wrong stuff.)
#KarateKid 2 is next!
@NathGoguen Honor has no time limit #KarateKid2 #SumsUpMostKungFu
#KarateKid2 SWEEP THE LEG RECAP!
#KarateKid2 Zamphir is gonna be all up in this bitch, isn't it?
#KarateKid2 We're off to Okinawa to meet MIYAGI'S bully. Because they're everywhere. That's the franchise's life lesson.
#KarateKid2 So you think you can dance? Daniel-San must be the least graceful martial artist on the books.
#KarateKid2 Look at the matte painting! That's where we used to dance! Until Sato ruined it! Like he ruined everything! #grrr
#KarateKid2 That's what I call breaking the ice. Gee, EVERYONE is in that "bad place" bar.
#KarateKid2 These movies have a real 50s fixation. Vintage cars for everyone. Now a dance playing the the song the McFlys fell in love to.
#KarateKid2 Lesson: Don't walk around with all your tuition money in your back pocket.
#KarateKid2 So are they gonna reveal that Daniel-San just got unwittingly married in that tea ceremony? #CamecaForever
#KarateKid2 They kissed and the gods are immediately angry. #Hurricane
#KarateKid2 Miyagi stands in the middle of a hurricane saving his archenemy. Dude screams "YOU COWARD!!!" English isn't his first language.
#KarateKid2 Okinawa culture commercial yes. Karate... not so much.
#KarateKid2 They made a big deal about the drum technique, and then the drum just becomes rhythmic juicing at the end.
#KarateKid3 No one ever remembers what happens in this one.
@Stonger4: Someone will break a bonsai tree and there will be a big cliff. Apart from that, I agree.
#KarateKid3 This franchise just LOVES to write its characters out in the most obvious way.
#KarateKid3 We're sending you to TAHITI! She got a job in TOKYO! Hi Mom, you take care of uncle Louie's emphysema! #WrittenOut
#KarateKid3 vs. over the top karate mobster who wants to untrain him to revenge his old Vietnam captain...
#KarateKid3 Daniel-San, going from rebound to rebound. Teenagers.
#KarateKid3 So now the returning champion need only play the final bout. Most participants... WRITTEN OUT
#KarateKid3 Ninja in the chimney!
#KarateKid3 Gee, it's a good thing the one girl he meets knows how to mountain-climb.
#KarateKid3 "Why am I so STUPID!?" We've been asking the same question, Daniel-San.
#KarateKid3 Making stupid mistakes and non-stop monologuing is all part of puberty.
#KarateKid3 QuickSilva rule no 4... if a man doesn't have a spine, he can't fight.
#KarateKid3 I think the script just told Ralph Macchio to ramble.
#KarateKid3 Glad for the final tournament. Daniel-San has to stop talking during.
#NextKarateKid begins... The credits already look like they're from a TV movie...
@Stonger4: Oooooh! Isn't that the one with the Akerley look-alike? #boysdontcry #insidejoke #NextKarateKid
That's the one. And she's a delinquent orphan who breaks into her school to practice falconry. #NextKarateKid
#NextKarateKid AND talk to herself a lot. She is Daniel-San's true inheritor.
#NextKarateKid What are these school Nazis, the "Alpha League"? Do U.S. schools regularly have security forces like this?
#NextKarateKid The students look old enough to be teachers. #90210fail
#NextKarateKid Babysitting montage!!! #ohlord
#NextKarateKid Why is everyone so rapey in this movie? Just because the Kid is a girl doesn't make it justifiable.
#NextKarateKid Buddhist monks in the Boston hills!
@Mike_Zeidler: There's a number* of Buddhist temples/monasteries in the foothills of Boston. *That number being two
With actual Japanese monks? That's incredible. Still seems surreal.
@Mike_Zeidler: I believe they're Tibetan. I was shocked by how Zen-friendly the entire Boston area is.
@Mike_Zeidler: In fact, I believe the Boston area has the only Shinto shrine in NA.
@NathGoguen: Never trust a spiritual leader that can't dance #NextKarateKid #Wisdom
#NextKarateKid Birthday at Buddhist temple...turns into a William Tell demonstration FAST
#NextKarateKid I sure hope the hawk comes back in the final reel to gouge the bad guys' eyes out. #KindaThinkItWillHappen
#NextKarateKid Miyagi cutting up a phallic food in front of Julie-San's prom date
#NextKarateKid Buddhist Bowling! (Another strange subplot)
#NextKarateKid Bungee bomb the prom!!!
#NextKarateKid I guess Boston is a lawless anarchy.
#KungFuKid What the 2010 #KarateKid should really be called. Bring it on!
#KungFuKid This is so beat-for-beat the original, I'm not sure they should have handed out screenwriter credits
#KungFuKid I'm not sure the romance subplots are appropriate for a 12-year-old lead, EVEN IF his dad is Will Smith
#KungFuKid It's the marathon fatigue talking, but I could do without the travelogue for Beijing
#KungFuKid At least the training regimen is different
#KungFuKid We're done! Sadly, it has to end on a Justin Bieber song.
@JadedSkeptic: Well I'm sure we can live with that in one film. Now if the world ends on a Justin Bieber song...

Aftermath (DVD extras)
#KarateKid The studio wanted Toshiro Mifune as Mr. Miyagi!
@MartyLight: Oh wow. That would of been awesome.
Scratches beard... "WAX ON WAX OFF!!" "But Mr. Miyagiiiii" Blood spurt.
@JoshFialkov: GUYS! The Karate kid cartoon is on Netflix! Also - there was a Karate Kid cartoon!

Thanks to all my KFFFriends for some of the material above; I stole liberally from the room. And please, take this as an invitation to share your memories of the Karate Kid franchise!

4 comments:

Brian Geers said...

Karate Kid Part 3 and Next Karate Kid do not exist in this dojo. ;p

Wriphe said...

"I love mac and cheese!" I swear, I love KARATE KID 3 for all the wrong reasons.

Siskoid said...

For the same reasons I like Karate Kid Next, I suppose.

De said...

This not tournament. THIS FOR REAL!

 

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