Geo-Force Gets a Makeover, Still Not Enough

Batman and the Outsiders Annual #1 - Pages 4-7
July 2nd. World UFO Day (why would I kid about that?). There's been a break-in at STAR Labs Gotham (same curved building, 50% more break-ins), and Lt. Freeman AKA Gordon-Lite has been waiting a whole hour for the Batman. Clearly, Bats is off his game (read on), but Freeman's work ethic may also be in question.
Only in a superhero comic would a huge hole in the wall indicate a "typical breaking and entering". Better not ask why STAR Labs' new computer circuit was in a large box on their loading dock instead of, y'know, a LAB. So who broke in?
Uhm... Does Barr realize he didn't give any member of the Force of July invisibility powers? If Blairman used someone else, well, that criminal is never brought to justice.

So okay, let's leave the scene of the plot and head for Geo-Force's beach house.
This happens after Tales of the New Teen Titans Annual #3, in which Terra dies and is buried under a creepy memorial on Titans Island. The Outsiders were, in fact, the only other people at the funeral. There, Nightwing told GF his sister died fighting the Terminator (Deathstroke). Probably better that way. No need to tell him Terra turned traitor.
Oops! I guess Batman knows best. Regulating the perfect amount of anguish each of his teammates must feel must be a full-time job. Look, it's Geo-Force, I'm not actually complaining that someone was needlessly cruel to him. His grief is interrupted when...
Those Jehovah's Witnesses don't know what boring evening they're about to have!
See, if I were Geo-Force (and I thank my lucky stars that is the most remote of possibilities), the Outsiders wouldn't have been a surprise at all, since I wouldn't actually know anyone else! So he's was all up for religious missionaries or insurance salesmen or, perhaps by some off-chance, Barr remembered the girl GF spoke to in college once. But the Outsiders? TOTAL SURPRISE. Dude. Or maybe the surprise is Black Lightning doing the Vulcan salute. Do they get Star Trek in Markovia? Still, a better greeting than Metamorpho making a crack about Ouija boards TO A GUY WHO'S JUST LOST HIS SISTER!!! A time and a place, Rex. GF should frickin' quit on the back of that comment.
Wait... is my dream about to come true? Is it possible Geo-Force will quit the team?
Obviously his only memory of Terra is the Outsiders-Titans crossover because, hey, the characters really have no other scenes together in the whole of the DC canon. It's just like on TV, clip shows only feature memories we were privy to (except Community, because Community is the balls). But it's what this memory illustrates. He has to quit the Outsiders and - beyond my wildest expectations - superheroing altogether because... his uniform reminds him too much of Terra. Yes, Brion, not only have you been wearing a girl's costume all this while, but it's inconceivable that you would change it to keep doing your thing. Or hey, since you don't know how to sew or whatever, you might have decided to celebrate your sister's life by wearing her colors. But no, it's Geo-Force no more, costume in the garbage can, etc. because his suit makes him sad. As ridiculous as the motivation is, BATMAN PREDICTED IT:
If you can't recognize a box with a clothes in it or by Halo's comment about "trying it on", then you're, well, stupider than Halo. But I think this has already been established. So let's see this new costume already:
Two major changes. The color scheme, from beige and brown to green and yellow, which only gives me the urge to go pee in the woods, and a big fat "GF" on his chest, which given the way Gothamites continue to not know any of their names, is sure to make the media dub him GirlFriend. The important thing is, it cures his funk. Girlfriend's a simple man with simple motivations. But he's been taking college courses, so he can at least analyze the thing:
Gold? I see canary yellow, dude, but you keep telling yourself that. And your former brown was even more "power of the earth" than the green. Anyone else think he's talking bull?
Thank yewww. Yeah, let Geo-Force talk, it'll do him good, but what it'll do to US? Thankfully, Batman ALSO knew this would happen, so he installed an interrupting beeper right in Geo-Force's ear.
Festivities?! The guy was having a one-man wake for his sister when the rest showed up. Some festivities. (Does anyone else get the feeling Batman has everyone's apartment bugged?) Anyway, the Batman couldn't show up to GF's place because, y'know, bed rest and chicken soup following his recent poisoning.
He still managed to literally swing by STAR Labs to get information he could have gotten from a PHONE CALL. Or hell, sent one of the Outsiders. Alfred has a right to be peeved. This is a very big step for Bruce though. Letting the Outsiders handle something alone? Are they ready? Even after more than a year? There is very little evidence that says they might be.

Next: They are not.


SallyP said...

Arrrggghh! Geo-Force! I loathe him even more than I do Snapper Carr! And that's a lot!

Siskoid said...

These posts are dedicated to readers with discerning tastes like yourself.

Jeff R. said...

You know, yesterday's post got me thinking about who would be on a Canadian version of the Force of July. The Hulk-like Maple Leaf Rage, Hosehead (who shoots a powerful water blast from his hair), The Northwest Passage (a Phantom Stranger type who shows up so rarely that people think his presence on the team is a hoax or inside joke)...Any other suitable Mike Barr-esque ideas for membership in the Worthwhile Initiative?

As for the camera, I'm going to say it was an inside job, with everyone involved in installing the new security system being Silent Majority in a bewildering array of wigs and false mustaches.

Siskoid said...

And that's a scene we needed to see!

As for the Canadian Fist of July (Oooh, that!), someone could be mean and simply say "Alpha Flight", but they're not THAT ethnically stereotypical.

I'd go with a Force of 13 members, one for each province and territory. They each have their stereotypes, more or less.

wriphe said...

Wikipedia sources a quote to Paul Levitz describing The Outsiders as "a team series more fashionable to 1980s audiences."

Just think for a moment what that says about 1980s audiences.

Siskoid said...

Still better than 1990s audiences.

SallyP said...


Matt Celis said...

Love the Outsiders even though they kinda suck. Still better than anything DC has published since around '88.

Siskoid said...

I honestly don't know how to respond to that ;-).


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