Geo-Force vs. Mayflower

Batman and the Outsiders Annual #1 - Pages 25-29
Ok, sorry about the break yesterday, but I was facing a GEO-FORCE chapter, and you know how that does me in. He's the reason I can't write about the Outsiders more regularly. So while Lightning and Halo got their asses handed to them in probably-Florida, and Rex and Katana were defeated in D.C., GF has been sent all the way to the Rockies (so AGAIN, why the long car trip that made Halo believe she would be late for a date at 4 days later?). And with no partner. It's clearly a message. But even when he's not right next to you... Imagine this guy having you on speed dial:
Oh Lord, even the atypically conservative quote seems to want him to shut up. A whole year under the Batman's tutelage and he thinks "hope" is the Dark Knight's main attribute?! His mission:
Yes, somewhere under the Rocky Mountains, because that's a small, specific area. But if you've ever wondered if lava blast propulsion is a dangerous power to, you know, the citizens of Gotham City, well it might be!
Now you've done it, guvnor! (Don't, don't, just don't, don't do that.) How many accidental fires has Geo-Force started anyway? Gotham isn't enough of a cesspool without him singing lawns, carpets and all those pieces of paper always floating in the breeze on splash pages. Note that Mayflower senses this from some undisclosed location. It's a good thing Swamp Thing wasn't yet Guardian of the Green too.
A tip for would-be supervillains: If you have an operative whose sole power is controlling plants, you might want to put a little garden somewhere in your lair. Perhaps spend money on solar lamps instead of high-tech metal thrones. Just an idea.
Wouldn't you know it, GF is looking in the completely wrong direction. What good are earth-sensing powers (is that new?) if you won't use your normal senses? All the better for him to get caught unawares, I suppose.
Question: Where do ANY of the Outsiders get their cockiness from? First, the Batman would have drilled it out of them that first week. Second, they lose more than half their fights and win the others almost by accident or through some outside agency. You'd think humility would be the go-to attitude by now. And there's certainly no need to be insulting.
And that's how them foreigners come here and take our super henchperson jobs - by laying sob stories on villainous employers. And when I say sob story, I do mean SOB.
He really made her cry. She's pretty thin-skinned. Or is that supposed to sweat? Eye sweat? Because it IS starting to feel warm out here.
No, don't turn around you silly girl! You decided to start this fight because GF burned some of your plants, so what do you think will happen when you encase him plant matter exactly? Do you want to be the only member of the Force of July who lost to an Outsider? And Outsider that is also Geo-Force? The shame!
I never knew "bloke" was an insult. In fact, I know I have a number of Brit readers, so if you know which part of "England" Mayflower's accent comes from, please, let me know. Now let's enjoy Geo-Force losing to a weaker opponent.
Ahhh, now it's starting to feel like the Outsiders again. Ok, GF. Your turn, blow those trees apart or whatever it is you can do.
Yes, certainly DON'T surrender, that would be foolish. USE. YOUR. POWERS.
No, not impossible, Mayflower, merely a crime against nature.
So GF finally uses powers and it makes getting out of the redwood trap very easy, except it knocks Mayflower out. His diagnosis can't be too accurate because he burned her plants earlier and she didn't even notice. Psychic connection, my ass. And wouldn't you know it, he makes the exact same mistake Mayflower just made thinking their opponent is dead.
She's hard to kill. Like a plant. You know those things that die when you forget to water them. Time to evaluate Geo-Force's reaction time when faced with this situation (villain awakens; dandelion starts to grow like it's gonna blow):
Complete fail. I don't even know if I want to talk about this next part.
Hey, insert your own facial jokes here. And speaking of jokes, how does the girl who's friends with plants think clearcutting jokes are funny? Defeated, GF has to lay there and listen to poetry.
I know how he feels. No. Not poetry. That other thing. Ah yes, terribly dated 80s comics!

Well, we're far from done despite the fact the Outsiders have all been beaten. I'd have ended the series there. Nice jumping off point. But no, next up, the escape or something. And we find out just what Blairman is up to!

3 comments:

SallyP said...

Oh Geo-Force. I hate you with a deep and abiding hatred. And thanks for destroying the Rocky Mountains! Jerk.

LiamKav said...

There is no English accent that makes sense for what she's saying. Maybe Dickvandykeish.

You are right, you'd never use "bloke" as an insult. Or as a direct descriptive...interrogative... argh! (Being a native English speaker means that you are really, really bad at learning all that stuff that other languages seem to do much cleaner.) Bloke is more used when you don't really know the person. I suppose the closest equivalent would be if she'd have said "you think you know anything about angry, guy?" but less sense-making than that.

(I love "This American weather is so unpredictable". How long has she been in the US for? Surely it's not long enough to say that all American weather is the same. Also, she comes from England. England. The country where it goes from rain to sun to rain to sun several times in a day. The country that is famous for having hard to predict weather.)

Are they trying to do a "My Fair Lady" with her, maybe?

Siskoid said...

Yeah a bloke is just a guy. It's nonsense in this context. Maybe she hates guys.

"MayFlower Lady"? (I'm trying to do with her accent)

 

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