Halo and Black Lightning vs. Sparkler and Silent Majority

Batman and the Outsiders Annual #1 - Pages 15-19
The Outsiders steal the JSA and JLA's shtick and split up, because so has the Force of July. AMERICAN UNITY! Anyway... you know when you watch wrestling and the first match, long before the main event, is the lamest on the ticket? Well, that. We might be in Florida here, which only makes me wonder why the Outsiders rented a car to go to Virginia, and why Halo was anxious about getting back to Gotham for her date in 4 days time. She's really being a Debbie Downer in this.
Poor choice of words, Lightning. You know Halo has an inconsistent grasp of the American idiom.
And "thinkin' subtle" isn't really her thing. I'm also sad to see you haven't learned your lesson in Chapter 1 and ONCE AGAIN haven't briefed your team member on the plan during transit. With 10 minutes to spare, how are you going to explain your strategy in small enough words for Halo to understand? Answer: You won't.
"Open Sesame!" Skinning cats no, Arabian Nights references yes. And why shouldn't those MPs worry?
Because the hurt of getting tasered is ALMOST as painful as the guilt a superhero feels after zapping innocent military personnel acting under orders, at the wrong place at the wrong time. Cry me a river, Lightning. Also, how about you NOW explain your plans in earshot of the Force of July? Thank you.
So the plan is to make a rocket go crazy, maybe hit a major population center, who knows? This is a job for THE FORCE OF JULY!!!
Halo calls shotgun (if only!) on Sparkler, which makes sense. It's the battle of the glitter teens. Which means Lightning has to fight the same guy who beat him earlier. Now, the Outsiders should do better since they've SEEN the Force in action. Well, sort of. Sparkler didn't do anything but talk after they came over the wall, so...
You'd think Halo, who shines brightly all the time, would be a little resistant to blinding light. Or the fact she can radiate heat make her immune to hot sparks. Hopefully Lightning will use his powers this time.
Well, a bit better, but he let himself get surrounded. And his powers create more "Gabbies". And that's why mix it up and 1) don't go up against the same guy and 2) don't let Halo call the shots. Although one wonders if Lightning would have done any better against a kid who can turn into a smiley fireworks face.
Wow, Halo has more strategic sense than Black Lightning. #indictment
Lightning moves from cats to snakes to rabbits, and from zaps to kicks - WHILE STILL ZAPPING SOME EXTRA OPPONENTS WITH HIS RIGHT HAND!!! Dude, you're watering down your own tactic! (Hehe, oh I'm so clever.)
I am astounded every time Black Lightning gets knocked out of a fight by water. Isn't there anything his new friend Dr. Jace can do about that? I mean, common every day weaknesses are great for heroes that are otherwise unstoppable like Superman, Green Lantern or the Martian Manhunter, but this is an Outsider we're talking about. One that's already competing with Geo-Force and Halo for the role of "blaster". Speaking of Halo, she's about to do the thing she seemed to think was impossible in the opening panel.
Aw, Sparkler has some kind of a code of honor. He'll hit girls, just not in the back. Well, maybe a little in the back. And then maybe celebrate.
Don't know about you but if I was at a rocket launch and fireworks unlike any I'd seen before shot out the day BEFORE July 4th at the same time, I'd get the hell out of there. So I can't tell: Is the rocket off-course? Heading for the heart of Miami? And WHY did it need to be done in the first place? Maybe Black Lightning will tell us.
Oh. That's 2-0 Force of July, by the way. Where's the Batman when you need him?

Next:
3-0 !

1 comments:

Kid Kyoto said...

So glad to see this feature back, yeah the Outsiders deserve every bit of scorn you can heap upon them!

 

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