Katana and Metamorpho vs. Lady Liberty and Major Victory

Batman and the Outsiders Annual #1 - Pages 20-24
Two down, three to go. Next pair-up feature Katana and Metamorpho (and thanks Jan for putting their masked faces in the sky as a kind of reverse Who's Who surprint, because who the heck can recognize Rex's secret identity?), staking out the mom and pop electronics store where the ASA buys its super-secret wares. Remember when family businesses could get lucrative government contracts? Yeah, me neither.
But I guess it's a front. A freedom-lovin', no Japs allowed front?
Well that's a relief. You can love America, work for ultra-conservative Eric Blairman and still NOT be a racist. I wasn't so sure given all of Barr's commie talk, y'know? Or... is it a trap? Crap. It's a trap, isn't it?
Maybe next time not send the Asian woman with the bundled-up katana in "undercover". Rex obviously has better disguise mojo. Whether it looks like it or not, that mask goes right down to his chest. Maybe he changes his neck and pecs into Ken doll-colored plastic. Yeah, that must be it. And now... in the Freedom Corner...
If there was any doubt as to Lady Liberty's nationality, the way she drops French into her sentences clarifies things. English MUST be her second language if she thinks Major Victory indeed doesn't want to hurt the "freak" and the "foreigner"--uhm... the foreigner NOT on his team, I guess. FIGHT!
The ol' mercury trick. Can't hit me and you get slowly poisoned. You'll never get that Metamorpho out of your system. Haw! Finally, an Outsider scores a win on a - what do we call them? Forcers? Julies? Patriots? Whatever. Your turn, Katana!
Although... Wouldn't this give you a chance to gang up on Lady Liberty? The Major's down and Rex is free, while Dame Liberté is probably a mismatch with Katana given the range of her powers. But no, that would involve team work, which Batman never taught his team.
As a French-speaker, I have to admit to chuckling a bit here. "Torch" in French is simply "Torche", and in French Canada at least can be used figuratively to insult someone. Basically, it has the same root as "torchon", which is cleaning rag, or often, a rag you'd use to wipe yourself. From there, you get "torche", which I guess would best be translated as "asswipe", most commonly for women who have pissed you off (plenty of other words for men who've done the same). So yeah, this is only funny for me. The verv "torcher" can also be used to mean "clean up" in a fight or contest, so that foreshadows Katana's fate here. Oh, and did we mention the slab of marble Lady L carries can be used as a shield too?
Now stop me if I'm wrong, but we seem to be in one of D.C.'s poorer neighborhoods (just the carpet in that apartment, yeech), so that means Rex and Katana both indirectly caused damage to poor people's homes just by dodging. I hope Bruce Wayne's signing blank checks tonight. While those folks' lives are being threatened by crossfire, Metamorpho is letting Major Victory wake up. ETHER HIM ALREADY!!!
That's a TERRIBLE performance from a shapeshifter! Why would you keep your two arms as seperate pieces when you can become a big block of a single substance? In fact, what are those two arms made of? Malleable gold and purple rubber? Geez! At least Metamorpho has a concrete head...
...and a glass jaw. Oh, let's just be done with this fight already. Lady L, please, do the honors.
Merci. Or as they say on Ellis Island: IMMIGRATION DENIED!!! It's a good day for America.
WHITE America.

That's two 4-0 for the Force of July, so even if Geo-Force can reverse the trend (hahaha, I couldn't keep a straight face writing that), the Outsiders can't win the game. Next time: Geo-Force is trendy.

4 comments:

LiamKav said...

I do admire the dedication superheroes used to have to always changing into their customer before doing any superheroics (and I use that term loosely in the Outsiders case). And we're not even talking about a Spider-Man style "just wear it under your civvies". For Katana, it involves changing from a skirt to trousers and putting on boots, as well as changing tops and unwrapping her sword. That's gonna take AT LEAST two minutes. How did she manage not to get hit while hopping around with only one boot on?

Siskoid said...

She stepped to the space between panels.

Matt Celis said...

Where are getting Blairman = conservative? His agenda seems more in line with socialism as practiced by Hitler, Stalin, and Mao. That would make Blairman a liberal.

Siskoid said...

I'm getting it from his own mouth. He's the one always ranting at liberals and communists (as if the two are synonyms).

He's basically enacting his own version of the Patriot Act, which isn't a liberal idea by any means.

 

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