Halo's Pre-Olympics Date

Batman and the Outsiders #14, p.1-6
Back around Christmas, we demolished the Outsiders' first Annual, which was 4th-of-July-themed. That story ended on July 7th with Halo going on the date she was so afraid of missing. And we're on that date as this issue begins. I mention the date because in a few pages' time, the 1984 Summer Games will begin, and it's a matter of historical fact the opening ceremonies were on July the 28th. Keep in mind, then, that all the soap opera stuff unfolds over three weeks in the middle of summer. That's going to be important later. So let's join Halo, boyfriend Phil and his heinous white tie at the end of their date. Warning: Bill Willingham's art in this issue is pretty rough.
Halo has never been to a theatre before, which is no surprise. This girl once asked what food was. So they went to dinner and a play, and all the while a mysterious trenchcoated figure was following them. Isn't the Phantom Stranger due for a reappearance? I wish! But the Stranger wouldn't be stalking a young girl, would he? And ruining her first kiss? Never!
Cuz just when it's about to happen for her, clang, Trenchcoat kicks a trash can to break the spell. But Halo can't spring into action in front of her beau! Instead, HE does. How chivalrous. Well, aside from the way he cops a feel when he pushes her to safety:
While he goes off to find a cop... in Gotham City... because he heard a loud noise... Halo does spring into action and finds:
A trenchcoat and... pants?! And burn marks. Halo thinks she knows who it was. Do YOU, gentle reader? Because if you don't, I'm sad to report you may be more dim-witted than Halo! I know! That doesn't sound possible! She catches up to her stalker... last chance to guess!
It's a STASIS aura, Halo. Jeez, 14 issues and an annual and she STILL doesn't know what her powers are. Don't worry, neither does the artist (and possibly the writer), because the way he makes the stalker fly may be handy for hiding the truth from the reader, but is sure isn't how Geo-Force looks when he flies. Because yes, truth revealed, Halo's date was ruined by a snooping GF.
It's back to the penthouse to tell Katana, interrupted during her nightly work-out. Those legwarmers are just one of many crimes perpetrated by the 80s. The Outsiders comic is another. Now answer me this: Do you think it's in character for Halo to be afraid of dying an old maid?
That assumes she has a lot more cultural baggage than we've been led to believe. (This is quite aside from her teenage over-reaction: Phil didn't break up with her and has every intention of calling her.) So what was the perv doing there? I'll tell you: Trying to impose his Old Country values on a (presumably) red-blooded American girl, that's what. Her legal guardians are Batman and Katana, and it's THIS jerk who makes sure Phil keeps his hands to himself?! Really?!
So now Halo is saying she wants to be taken advantage of, when not too long ago, she didn't even know what a date was. Maybe she doesn't know what she's saying. Then again, Barr may have forgotten he designed her to be the most vacuous character ever. How does she even know what a convent is?
Convents aren't the only way to swear off boys, Halo. Here's another, best looked at out of context:
So ends the first of several dates this issue, and aren't you glad the most powerful member of the Outsiders uses his abilities for this kind of thing? If I were a Gothamite, I'd feel all safe and stuff. Mostly stuff. And now...

CURRENT MEDAL COUNT!
Siskoid/Canada: 3 gold, 3 silver, 1 bronze (7)
Outsiders/USA: 2 gold, 0 silver, 3 bronze (5)
Katana/Japan: 0 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze (0)
Maxie Zeus/Greece: 0 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze (0)
Geo-Force/Markovia: 0 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze (0)

I'm winning!

3 comments:

SallyP said...

My God, that's Bill Willingham on art? It looks a highschool kid.

Siskoid said...

And Bill Anderson on inks. Surprisingly amateurish.

And this isn't Willingham's first Outsiders art, he also did a Halo back-up I believe.

Jeremy Patrick said...

Halo doesn't know what "food" or a "date" is, which is *exactly* why Geo-Force is being so protective of her!

Like Lost, if you don't think about it at all, or if you think about it too hard, the whole story makes perfect sense!

 

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