Outsiders/New Olympians: Closing Ceremonies

Batman and the Outsiders #15, p.13-14, 17, 19-23
These Olympics need to end! Or this Outsiders story needs to, at the very least. Productivity is down at the office, people are on edge, and my energy is at low ebb. At some of this can be traced to B&TO #15. So let's check on on Batman, in the VIP booth with Maxie Zeus, his intended Lacinia, and psychic secretary Argus who won't see any of what happens coming. Hey, is Maxie actually making some headway in the romance department?
The answer is no (see the end of the sentence below). So Batman picks Argus' pocket and finds a cryptic clue written in such a way as make it completely legible regardless of panel borders and thumbs.
He leaves without permission and steals a cop car from the LAPD (we really ARE pre-9/11, aren't we?), and it's L.A.'s fault for bad urban planning.
Barr and von Eeden really missed a trick by not cutting to this panel straight from Diana's two rabid dogs. Ah well. Why did I expect better? Anyway, shame on L.A. for not thinking about line-swinging vigilantes when they built the city. And they wonder why all the good heroes are on the East Coast. So where is Batman going? There's no Pantheon in L.A., is there? Time for some Batman '66 deductive action!
Wow. Figure this out in Gotham, fine. But this isn't your city, and you've still memorized its street map? Only Batman. Inside, Maxie Zeus' daughter Medea is being a brat.
That's the kind of false accusation that will get a goomba killed! They leave the ball and go watch the worst Olympics in history in the other room, so Batman takes advantage and cuts a hole in the bay window. Out of context, it could come off as a little creepy:
Medea is willing to leave but she needs to get her jacket - in Los Angeles, in July - and steps on that damn ball. She's unhurt, but the thump makes the goons check it out. Bit of a fight, guns drawn, and Maxie Zeus walks in and disarms the entire situation (because the Outsiders can never ever win without some contrivance).
Aww, he's such a good father. Shame he's in the looney bin and heads a minor criminal empire. Turns out, he need only have asked Lacinia if she wanted to adopt Medea. It was that easy. Medea even thinks she's nice after, like, two seconds of contact. The gun thugs still want to kill the Batman though, but his team has got his back!
Uhm... You know you need to be between the thugs and their intended victim to say that, right? Their voices muffled behind a big pane of glass, it doesn't quite have the same effect. So it's back to the Asylum for Maxie, and I guess Lacinia is off somewhere signing adoption papers then racing back to compete in the Olympics. I don't even know if Lacinia (or Medea!) ever appeared again. Anyone know? Anyone care?

Speaking of things I don't care about:
The Geo-Force/Halo romance. Ugh. Let's keep it a secret dear (yes, from the readers, please!), by being touchy-feely while our team mates have their backs turned. Like the Batman isn't hearing every damn thing you whisper. And look! Next issue! The Truth About Halo! It only took a year and a half to get to the secret origin of one of his characters. So I'm going to wait too. Not touching another Outsiders comic until this summer. It's for your own good, and mine. See you then!

CURRENT MEDAL COUNT!
Canada: 8 gold, 10 silver, 4 bronze (22)
USA: 8 gold, 6 silver, 11 bronze (25)
Japan: 1 gold, 4 silver, 3 bronze (8)
Greece: 0 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze (0)
Markovia: 0 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze (0)

3 comments:

SallyP said...

Oh God, it's all just so...terrible!

DustMan said...

Wow, does LAPD come off bad here (not quite Geo-Force bad, but still bad). While a stadium full of people, including VIPs like the President of the United States, are taken hostage and threatened during an internationally televised event, there are cops who somehow found a hot dog stand (not that common in LA, due to the distance between buildings that Batman noted) within walking distance of said stadium and leave the keys in the car.

Then, in response to the theft of government property, along with all the weapons and other items in the car, they say "Hey, the Car!" The cops in Die Hard are more competent than this!

Siskoid said...

Between not having superheroes of its own and the LAPD's relaxed attitude, I'd have to say the DCU's L.A. is a crime-free paradise.

 

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