St.Valentine's Eve with the Outsiders and Maxie Zeus

Batman and the Outsiders #14, p.6-7, 9-12, 16
Katana: The Blind Leading the Blind Date
So after her disastrous date (but before she becomes a woman, cough, barf, ack!), Halo decides she's enough of an expert in matters of love to play Cupid, and brings her hot Japanese geometry teacher (because they weren't yet offering computer courses, obviously, right Mike "National Stereotype" Barr?) to Tatsu's nonviable bookstore.
Because Katana has to end up with another Japanese expat, of course. Her husband was Japanese, so that must be her type. Except this guy's not married and Tatsu's husband was, so maybe he's NOT her type! Oh the mental calculations that must have been going through Halo's head. As it turns out, she gets reprimanded for setting her den mother up.
Look at all those stuffed animals! They're going right in the trash as soon as Geo-Force has his way with Gaby. Shame. One of them is already unimpressed.
Love-meter: Low. Katana does not go on date. Halo told not to play Cupid.

Black Lightning and Metamorpho: Bromance
If you glace down at the following panel, you might be led to believe Jeff and Rex are talking to each other on the phone, but no, they're trying to hook up with the only characters known to have ever hooked up with them, their estranged wives! Let's compare and contrast:
These guys need better apartments. Why should Katana and Halo get all the penthouse amenities? Anyway, why can't they make a love connection? Because of other men:
Lynn is apparently going out with Lionel Richie, who just doesn't care if it's night, he's gonna accessorize with sunglasses. And of course, Rex is getting cock-blocked by his father-in-law, Simon Stagg. No surprise there. The important thing is how you now REACT, boys.
Black Lightning, with resigned depression, apparently eating his emotions.  And Metamorpho, with defiance. We'll see which technique eventually gets the girl (at this rate, in about 18 issues).
Love-meter: Denied.

Maxie Zeus: Before Love Connection Websites
From the sunniest interpretation of Arkham Asylum ever, Maxie Zeus writes a letter to his daughter Medea, wishing he could find a mother for her.
Aww sweet. And may I say, it's so rare for the Outsiders to face a pre-established villain, you should think twice about saying Maxie Zeus sucks in the comments section. And when I say think twice, I mean all their new villains have pretty much sucked too, usually worse. So ask yourself: Is Maxie Zeus really worse than the Cryonic Man? Than Meltdown? Than Agent Orange? Than the guy with nunchucks for hands? Than Baron BEDLAM?! Come on now. But back to Maxie. An omen!!!
That's right, he's seen something in the newspaper, and he's in love. A love that gives him the strength to beat up a janitor with a trash can and escape the impregnable fortress we call Arkham, but that Batman calls Revolving Door. Now let's skip some eye-gouging artwork while the janitor gets beat and Batman arrives on the scene to help the completely befuddled authorities. These guys are so stupid, Bats decides to troll them.
They haven't found ONE clue. The only thing Maxie left was the newspaper. Well maybe that IS your one clue, guys. And it is, although maybe it takes Batman to decipher it.
Have YOU guessed it? If you said that Lacinia is another name for Juno, the wife of Jupiter, i.e. Zeus, and that Maxie is going after Olympic hopeful Lacinia Nitocris, give yourself a prize! Yeah, that's some Batman '66 level of deduction right there... but then Maxie Zeus really is just King Tut in a toga.
Love-meter: Cupid strikes!

CURRENT MEDAL COUNT!
Canada: 4 gold, 4 silver, 2 bronze (10)
USA: 3 gold, 1 silver, 5 bronze (9)
Japan: 0 gold, 2 silver, 1 bronze (3)
Greece: 0 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze (0)
Markovia: 0 gold, 0 silver, 0 bronze (0)

3 comments:

American Hawkman said...

I do feel the need to mention that Meltdown had been a solo foe of Batman and Black Lightning before his Outsiders appearance. He was Hank Pyming his way through a new alias every appearance, but he existed before the Outsiders.

Still think that the Bad Samaritan is essentially the best thing to come out of this book... but apparently, I have a weakness for the middleman style of villain. Loved the Advance Man from the Justice Leagues event as well.

d said...

Willingham sure loves those wood textures. And good to know Black Lightning is a Deadhead.

Siskoid said...

Probably Bill Anderson inking up a woodgrain storm there.

 

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