After talking up the original Secret Wars on Monday, you knew I kind of had to look at the sequel, right? The awful, awful sequel? Looking at it again, it's pretty bad, though I don't dislike the ending. I'll talk about it at the end of this post. For now, all you need to know is that Al Milgrom isn't as well suited as Mike Zeck or even Mark Bright for the art on a big crossover event. That the series spends all its time visiting each and every book in the Marvel line, recapping those side-adventures as it moves along (for purposes of keeping my sanity, I did not look at any of these). And that Jim Shooter's story involves the god-like Beyonder coming to Earth to learn what it is to be human, becoming a gangster in the process, then a "too helpful" hero, until Mephisto tries to kill him while all of Marvel's "big cosmic concept" characters stand around like they're regular folks. We often cut to scenes of SW1 favorites Molecule Man and Volcana playing house (she has an apron on at all times and they play Trivial Pursuit with the neighbors) whose power will be needed in the end game. Secret Wars II is in no way a "secret war". So what are, to my mind, the stupidest moments in the series? Here they are chronologically.
Now, the finale is pretty good (give or take a sequence where the Beyonder clones the New Mutants). The Beyonder clones himself a human body and leaves his power in a big hourglass so he can see what it's really like to be mortal. He freaks and runs to his hourglass several times, finds the perfect human/Beyonder formula, gets his lair crashed by the entire Marvel Universe, and they kill him as a baby growing in the clone machine. Sadness. But his energies reach back to his pocket universe and spark a Big Bang where from nothingness a full universe just like our own is born. Kind of salvaged it. If I'm very generous about it.
But perhaps I missed your own favorite bone-head moment?