Circle of Geek Hell: Terrible Comic Book Stores

The Circle of Shitty Comic Book Shop Experiences
Location: 4th Circle - Greed

The whole damn Circle is a multi-level comic book store, but not the one in your dreams - the one in your nightmares. Piles of stuff everywhere, in no particular order, and whatever you WANT to find, CAN'T be found. You spend centuries just getting through level after level of Magic the Gathering tournaments - WHERE ARE THE DAMN COMICS???? Then you find the randomly ordered back issues and ugly red price stickers have been stuck indelibly to a character face on every Golden and Silver Age cover. Trade paperbacks have broken spines like they've been read by foul demons over and over again before you ever set foot in there. Unless they're shrink-wrapped, in which case you'll never get to them. The Essentials and Showcase Presents all start at volume 2. There's dust on all the best RPGs and board games, and your fingers are cracking from the resulting eczema.

But it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the employees. When they're not ignoring you, they're talking your ear off about - how do they even know? - the very thing you don't care about. They're having animated debates about Wolverine's bone claws, or forcing you to look at THOSE panels from Identity Crisis. When you show interest in something, they'll either not know what you're talking about or mock you for it. You'll be told their little nephews can draw like your favorite artist while they try to sell you Rob Liefeld books (why yes, this Circle DOES connect to Wednesday's). When your dead relatives come by to get you a gift, they recommend the exact wrong thing ("He liked 90s Vertigo books? He'll love this new release from Mark Millar!").

I know you've been there before and didn't even have to die. This version is as crowded as Free Comic Book Day every single minute of every day and you'll never be able to walk out.

3 comments:

Toby'c said...

I can't say that Minotaur (Elizabeth St Melbourne) is anything like this.

Siskoid said...

Nor is The Comic Hunter in Moncton.

But I've been to such places. Oh yes.

Matthew Celestis said...

Yes, they are terrible places.

 

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