Snapshots of Jimmy Olsen #11: Freak!

Source: Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #59 (1962)
Type: Transformation
Been a while since we visited the Silver Age, and seeing as this story is about the Jimmy and Lucy on Valentine's Day, put your Mad Men glasses on, it's gonna get sexist up in here! Because I don't know if you knew this, but Lucy didn't HAVE to date Jimmy. She had plenty of suitors.
The rich, middle-aged type who probably had wives at home. That's gonna be a theme. If you're wondering why Lucy is having breakfast with so many men, you're not embracing the Silver Age, guys! Bullied out of his share of the bacon, a dejected Jimmy heads for work and wonders how he can buy Lucy some nice jewelry and decides the best way to finance that lay-away girlfriend is to pack his own lunch. Those restaurant bills do pile up, in the big city.

"Suddenly, out of the blue" (and that  should be the Silver Age anthem), a flying saucer comes down and out comes a gorgeous alien princess called Ilona from the Sunev Galaxy. She's been watching Jimmy's adventures on the space monitor (so the George Reeves TV show's signal has reached another galaxy already), and she wants to marry him!
It's a kiss from a real woman that makes him forget all about that girl, Lucy. Ilona gives him an engagement present, a fancy belt loaded with powers - flight, the Midas touch, invisibility... not that he ever gets to use them in the story later - but before he can leave for the Ilona's home planet for the wedding, Jimmy needs to pull one final dick move: Bring Ilona to the Valentine's Day costume ball to show her off to Lucy, haha!

Perhaps tired of waiting in line for a dance, Lucy's half-dozen boyfriends start hovering around Ilona, while Lucy falls into the usual trap of now wanting what she can't have. And in this world, girls judge you based on what girl you've managed to attract, so Jimmy seems very alluring indeed. After Jimmy refuses to dance with her, Lucy goes home with a headache, and there is much rejoicing. Ilona goes off to her ship to prepare Jimmy's love-cabin, and he races home to get his clothes and Superman trophies (of course). On his way back, he meets some strange characters in fantastical outfits and massive belts. Belts? They're Ilona's four other husbands (all middle-aged because the 1960s), come to bully the new kid who's sure to be the new favorite. And they've learned how to use their belts to make certain alterations to the human body.
So Jimmy signals Superman for help, but indignity of indignities, the Man of Steel is friends with these four aliens. He does convince them to change Jimmy back, but though pentagamy is legal in the Sunev Galaxy, it still leaves Jimmy in a bit of a dilemma.
Superman's plan? He brings two "hags" to the party, which Jimmy tells Ilona is HIS wives, who of course will have to live with them. And because they're ugly, Ilona - who has been spying on Jimmy for ages and never saw any of this - breaks of the engagement. The hags are, of course, Lana and Lois with life-like masks. Jimmy asks them to keep the conclusion of this tale a secret so he can be a dick to Lucy some more, and even Lois agrees because clearly, her sister deserves it. (They do share a flat, so all these gentlemen callers must be annoying.) Jimmy tells Lucy he had to break off the engagement because Ilona was too jealous and "not his type", which gives her hope of a relationship with Jimmy. But he plays it cool and says his social calender is booked for the week, so maybe NEXT week, maybe...
That's how you get the girl. Be aloof and she'll want to be your love slave. Story and art by Frank T.J. Mackey from Magnolia.


MichaelT said...

The Sunev galaxy? Really?

Siskoid said...

Not the Sram Galaxy, not Yrucrem's either.


Blog Archive


5 Things to Like Activities Advice Alien Nation Aliens Say the Darndest Things Alpha Flight Amalgam Ambush Bug Animal Man anime Aquaman Archetypes Archie Heroes Arrowed Asterix Atom Avengers Awards Babylon 5 Batman Battle Shovel Battlestar Galactica Black Canary BnB 2-in1 Books Booster Gold Buffy Canada Captain America Captain Marvel Cat CCGs Charlton Circles of Hell Class Comics Comics Code Approved Conan Contest Cooking Crisis Daredevil Dating Kara Zor-El Dating Lois Lane Dating Lucy Lane Dating Princess Diana DCAU Deadman Dial H Dice Dinosaur Island Dinosaurs Director Profiles Doctor Who Doom Patrol Down the Rabbit Hole Dr. Strange Encyclopedia Fantastic Four Fashion Nightmares Fiasco Films Within Films Flash Flushpoint Foldees French Friday Night Fights Fun with Covers FW Team-Up Galleries Game design Gaming Geekly roundup Geeks Anonymous Geekwear Gimme That Star Trek Godzilla Golden Age Grant Morrison Great Match-Ups of Science Fiction Green Arrow Green Lantern Hawkman Hero Points Podcast Holidays House of Mystery Hulk Human Target Improv Inspiration Intersect Invasion Invasion Podcast Iron Man Jack Kirby Jimmy Olsen JLA JSA Judge Dredd K9 the Series Kirby Motivationals Krypto Kung Fu Learning to Fly Legion Letters pages Liveblog Lonely Hearts Podcast Lord of the Rings Machine Man Motivationals Man-Thing Marquee Masters of the Universe Memes Memorable Moments Metal Men Metamorpho Micronauts Millennium Mini-Comics Monday Morning Macking Movies Mr. Terrific Music Nelvana of the Northern Lights Nightmare Fuel Number Ones Obituaries oHOTmu OR NOT? Old52 One Panel Outsiders Panels from Sheena Paper Dolls Play Podcast Polls Questionable Fridays Radio Rants Reaganocomics Recollected Red Bee Red Tornado Reign Retro-Comics Reviews Rom RPGs Sandman Sapphire & Steel Sarah Jane Adventures Saturday Morning Cartoons SBG for Girls Seasons of DWAITAS Secret Origins Podcast Secret Wars SF Shut Up Star Boy Silver Age Siskoid as Editor Siskoid's Mailbox Space 1999 Spectre Spider-Man Spring Cleaning ST non-fiction ST novels: DS9 ST novels: S.C.E. ST novels: The Shat ST novels: TNG ST novels: TOS Star Trek Streaky Suicide Squad Supergirl Superman Supershill Swamp Thing Tales from Earth-Prime Team Horrible Teen Titans That Franchise I Never Talk About The Prisoner The Thing Then and Now Theory Thor Thursdays of Two Worlds Time Capsule Timeslip Tintin Torchwood Tourist Traps of the Forgotten Realms Toys Turnarounds TV V Waking Life Warehouse 13 Websites What If? Who's This? Whoniverse-B Wikileaked Wonder Woman X-Files X-Men Zero Hour Strikes Zine