Snapshots of Jimmy Olsen #11: Freak!

Source: Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #59 (1962)
Type: Transformation
Been a while since we visited the Silver Age, and seeing as this story is about the Jimmy and Lucy on Valentine's Day, put your Mad Men glasses on, it's gonna get sexist up in here! Because I don't know if you knew this, but Lucy didn't HAVE to date Jimmy. She had plenty of suitors.
The rich, middle-aged type who probably had wives at home. That's gonna be a theme. If you're wondering why Lucy is having breakfast with so many men, you're not embracing the Silver Age, guys! Bullied out of his share of the bacon, a dejected Jimmy heads for work and wonders how he can buy Lucy some nice jewelry and decides the best way to finance that lay-away girlfriend is to pack his own lunch. Those restaurant bills do pile up, in the big city.

"Suddenly, out of the blue" (and that  should be the Silver Age anthem), a flying saucer comes down and out comes a gorgeous alien princess called Ilona from the Sunev Galaxy. She's been watching Jimmy's adventures on the space monitor (so the George Reeves TV show's signal has reached another galaxy already), and she wants to marry him!
It's a kiss from a real woman that makes him forget all about that girl, Lucy. Ilona gives him an engagement present, a fancy belt loaded with powers - flight, the Midas touch, invisibility... not that he ever gets to use them in the story later - but before he can leave for the Ilona's home planet for the wedding, Jimmy needs to pull one final dick move: Bring Ilona to the Valentine's Day costume ball to show her off to Lucy, haha!

Perhaps tired of waiting in line for a dance, Lucy's half-dozen boyfriends start hovering around Ilona, while Lucy falls into the usual trap of now wanting what she can't have. And in this world, girls judge you based on what girl you've managed to attract, so Jimmy seems very alluring indeed. After Jimmy refuses to dance with her, Lucy goes home with a headache, and there is much rejoicing. Ilona goes off to her ship to prepare Jimmy's love-cabin, and he races home to get his clothes and Superman trophies (of course). On his way back, he meets some strange characters in fantastical outfits and massive belts. Belts? They're Ilona's four other husbands (all middle-aged because the 1960s), come to bully the new kid who's sure to be the new favorite. And they've learned how to use their belts to make certain alterations to the human body.
So Jimmy signals Superman for help, but indignity of indignities, the Man of Steel is friends with these four aliens. He does convince them to change Jimmy back, but though pentagamy is legal in the Sunev Galaxy, it still leaves Jimmy in a bit of a dilemma.
Superman's plan? He brings two "hags" to the party, which Jimmy tells Ilona is HIS wives, who of course will have to live with them. And because they're ugly, Ilona - who has been spying on Jimmy for ages and never saw any of this - breaks of the engagement. The hags are, of course, Lana and Lois with life-like masks. Jimmy asks them to keep the conclusion of this tale a secret so he can be a dick to Lucy some more, and even Lois agrees because clearly, her sister deserves it. (They do share a flat, so all these gentlemen callers must be annoying.) Jimmy tells Lucy he had to break off the engagement because Ilona was too jealous and "not his type", which gives her hope of a relationship with Jimmy. But he plays it cool and says his social calender is booked for the week, so maybe NEXT week, maybe...
That's how you get the girl. Be aloof and she'll want to be your love slave. Story and art by Frank T.J. Mackey from Magnolia.

2 comments:

MichaelT said...

The Sunev galaxy? Really?

Siskoid said...

Not the Sram Galaxy, not Yrucrem's either.

 

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