Krypto #6: What If He Could Speak?

From: "The Super-Tricks of the Dog of Steel" Adventure Comics #239 (August 1957)

Yay! No homecoming from space scene! Superboy and Krypto are partnered from the first panel and about to go stop a radium burglary at the hospital when they spot something more important: a strange meteor heading for Smallville.
And suddenly, Krypto can talk. It's not Red Kryptonite or anything. It's just the kind of thing that happened in comics in 1957. Superboy has his pup examined by a doctor whose prognosis is that the effects will wear off in 24 hours... because SCIENCE! So Krypto is gonna make the most of it. Like record an album.
"Oh no!" Superboy? Here begins a truly grating jealousy subplot between the master and his dog, with Kal-El increasingly more annoyed at Krypto's show-boating, when we all know very well he personally lives for parades and medals. Dude, you're not going to build a "Superman Family" if you're the only one allowed to shine! Of course, no one wants to be humiliated by their pets.
Of course, they do that all the time. They poop or puke in front of guests. You get caught in the middle of baby talk. Etc. For Superboy, it means his dog shows him up by saving the day before he can. Well look, some dogs can outrace humans, so there's no reason a Kryptonian dog couldn't be faster than a Kryptonian! Except Superboy may actually be slowing down. So much so, he turns into a statue. The scientist who examined Krypto runs up with a rather rude picture of the meteor.
Superboy knocked the thing off course, but somehow this guy has a picture of it, and it reveals the combination of two elements caused Superboy's problem. But don't worry, it's all temporary and Superboy snaps out of it. But word gets out and some bad guys find the meteor crashed nearby, but all that's left of the secondary element is traces. They approach Krypto with an idea.
At this point, you should be thinking something's up. No way is Krypto going to betray Superboy. But he pretends to go along with the crooks, who get their hands on the stolen radium and put it on the meteor; that's what the missing element was. I hope they know they've all got cancer now too. And Superboy falls into their trap! Except it's no trap at all. Superboy reveals to the press that he and Krypto colluded, played public jealousy games (except that "oh no" bit was in his thoughts, so not ALL fake), and made like the meteor had a paralyzing effect on him. He even salted the now inert rock with radium so the underworld would basically do his work for him and bring the radioactive lump to the crash site. Well it's all very obvious in retrospect.

But Krypto's ability to talk, that was real, and when it's about to expire, Superboy decides to give his dog a gift.
So now his pooch can come to this canyon and listen to his own voice any time he wants; this echo chamber will resonate his words for 100 years. And we know how manipulative Superboy can be - he just proved it! - but Krypto's last words are a tribute to HIM. I'm not sure who this "gift" is really meant for.


Anonymous said...

"but somehow this guy has a picture of it"

All he did was take one of his sex drawings and write "Meteor" on it.

He probably has a drawing entitled "The Route Krypto's Rocket Took to Earth" that looks like two men humping in a supply closet.

Siskoid said...

Want to come up and see my etchings?



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