Films Within Films: Scorcher VI

Dimension X doesn't get all the same films we do. And what they do get can sometimes seem absurd. And ours to them. They try to wrap their heads around the existence of Snowpiercer; we do the same with not one, not two, not three, but SIX Scorcher films.

Scorcher VI: Global Meltdown
Stars: Tugger Speedman
Genre: Action, science-fiction
Plotz: In 2013, the Earth's rotation comes to a halt, and one man must save the planet. And then again, and again, and again. This is the sixth time, basically.
Review from Dimension X: They say you can't go back to the well. And with the Scorcher series, it seems a given that it's a well that would dry up a lot quicker. The first flick was fun enough despite its brain-dead premise. Rick Scorcher saved his baby and restarted the Earth's spin again, somehow. But as the sequels started piling up, diminishing returns from the proverbial web became dustier and dustier. Maybe if they didn't feel the need to start the Earth's rotation again at the end of EVERY movie, requiring another baffling stop at the start of the next, the world of Scorcher could have been better explored. You'd have thought Earth would have learned to survive without Scorcher.

This sixth (and probably last) installment in the series FINALLY does something different with the premise, and no, I don't mean that there are TWO babies to save this time. Rather, the scorched environment of the first five films is replaced with a new Ice Age, which comes with very different challenges for the hero. The plot is just as tired as ever though, and even if Tugg Speedman still has his fans, his star has long waned. It's perhaps time for him to be cast in an Expendables film instead of his current attempts at relevancy and at questing for Oscars. Bottom line, the series is out of juice, and some new matte paintings isn't what's going to refresh it (pun intended and about as clever as the film itself, which is to say, very little).

Watch what clips have filtered through to our universe (courtesy of Tropic Thunder):

Final rating: 1½ burnin' hunks of rock
Would see if it were made: There is only one way to watch a Scorcher film. Either watch only the first one, or marathon the heck out of all six with plenty of friends and booze on hand.



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