Krypto #46: Collie Krypto

From: Superman #157 (Nov 1962) and Superboy #101 (Dec 1962)

In the middle of what must have been Lassie Mania, DC published THIS story. It's one of those days where Krypto feels marginalized and wants to get attention because no one's happy with his digging up the vast dinosaur cemetery that is Smallville.
Unable to get his groove on with the ladies in what is quickly turning into a massive sinkhole and unnatural disaster of Trump's America proportions, Krypto decides to do his job as defender of the oppressed dog instead, and spotting dog nappers posing as ice cream salesmen, fakes his own kryptonite-induced coma to get "captured".
But the crooks figure out the Green K is a painted rock and decide to "outwit" Krypto by making him help them commit crimes. So they send all the other hostage dogs home and reveal that they were just collecting models for their fancy body-changing machine. This is some elaborate stuff for penny-ante crooks who were going to ransom prize dogs in a small American town. It was a different time. People's brains were wired differently in the Silver Age.
And of course, this taps right into Krypto's current insecurity. He can be a blue-blood too, now! His pick: Collie. Just like all the best movie doggie TV stars. But will it work on his Kryptonian physiology? The crooks make him go through a few tests.
Among these tests is digging a tunnel right to a bank vault. His powers seem fine, so the next day...
That's another thing these criminals have handy, a complex 3D projector! Guys, are you sure you need to steal? So Krypto goes his merry way, thinking he's a handsome pup and apparently unable to look down at his own paws or back at his own tail. It's not until he shakes his cape off and tries to enter a beauty pageant that he learns the truth.
That the effect must have worn off! But when he returns to the crooks' hideout, he finds out he's been tricked! And so have the readers! The cover promised us a true-blue(-blood) transformation! Hold on, kids, four pages to go. For now, Krypto diverts his own tunnel so the bad guys find their way to a jail cell instead. Then, he's off into space to dream of Collieness. And because he's just a dumb dog, he doesn't think twice before flying through a red dust cloud, even though these invariably turn out to be Red Kryptonite.
And it's the wish fulfillment kind! Superboy embraces the change because he's as shallow as they come, but doesn't expect a further side-effect...
That's right, Krypto imagined himself as a SPECIFIC dog, "Lady" (well, "Lassie", let's be real), a female one, and apparently, pregnant. So Krypto delivered four pups in a cave and is now a super-mother. One that Superboy doesn't want on missions because it would be "too dangerous for a girl". Even an indestructible one, Superboy? You should have led with the "pups to take care of" bit, you Kryptonese turdball. But Red K only lasts 36 hours, so Kryptonia turns into Krypto once more, and the pups?
They disappear as if they never existed, which is rather disturbing when you think Krypto is stuck with the memory of having pushed them out of his genitals. Superboy comics are weird.

A month earlier (years later) in Superman #157...
Krypto was fly-driving a tank so Superman could fake being a genie. Yeah. I rest my case.


Jonathan Linneman said...

I have no words for this one. Thanks!

wordsmith said...

The birth of Kryptonia's puppies raises all sorts of parthenogenetic questions that I lack the chops to answer, but do you suppose all of the pups were females, since no one in Silver Age DC comics ever had sex, and there's no source for the Y chromosomes since it was a virgin birth? What? Oh, "parthenogenesis" is what happens when females self-fertilize, which, based on the little I've read about it, and the even littler I understood of what I read, should produce only clones of the mother.
This story and many more are available online for free @ or simply google and look around from there. I'm interested in what you have to say about the questionable morality of reading free comics on the 'net and hence driving honest, hardworking LCS's into the ditch.

wordsmith said...

Reading the Wikipedia entry on the TV series "Lassie" reminds me that the show was co-created by producer Robert Maxwell, who co-produced the first season of "The Adventures of Superman" starring George Reeves.

Siskoid said...

Everything is connected!

Unknown said...

I believe, for most of the show's run, Lassie was played by a male. However Spuds MacKenzie was female.

Siskoid said...

From the discreet anatomy, I would say Krypto was also played by a female.

wordsmith said...

Good call catching the "Lassie" TV show implication, Siskoid; this reminds me of the pseudo-"Lassie" dialogue G.B. Trudeau wrote for one of his Sunday "Doonesbury"s:

"Woof! Woof!"
"What's that, Lassie? You say the hunter fell into the abandoned mine shaft and broke his leg and needs insulin?"
"Woof! Woof!"


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