Who Are the Global Guardians?

Who's This? A truly international team.

The facts: The canonicity of the Super-Friends comic book series is dubious, but the book introduced a number of international heroes in the same vein as the TV show's Samurai, El Dorado, Apache Chief, etc. So how to get them into the DCU proper? DC Comics Presents #46 (June 1982) assembled them (and new characters) into a team so they could team up with Superman. After Crisis, they were essentially used as a continuity implant and precursors to Justice League International, eventually appearing in JLI franchise books (with some of their members becoming Leaguers), including a run of stories in Justice League Quarterly. Over the years, other non-American heroes were folded into the team, like Red Star and the New Guardians' Jet and Gloss.
How you could have heard of them: In Doomsday Clock, Wonder Woman is said to be in talks to reestablish the Global Guardians, but nothing came of it. The group remains "famous" for spawning, as Green Flame and Icemaiden, Fire and Ice who became beloved JLI characters. The last appearance of pure Global Guardian characters was very recently, during the Absolute Power event.
Example story: Justice League Quarterly #5 (Winter 1991) "An Old Beginning" by Kevin Dooley, Andy Smith and Carlos Garzon
Because of the JLI connection, the first GG story in JLQ begins with a parody of Justice League's first page, with New Zealand's Tuatara sitting in for Guy Gardner, presumably because he's green.
The roll call includes: Venezuela's Bushmaster, the UK's Godiva, Kenya's Impala, Greece's Olympian, Japan's Rising Sun, Taiwan's Thunderlord, and Germany's Wild Huntsman. I did that without checking and I want a medal. A silver medal because Impala's actually from South Africa.
The vibe is right out of the Bwa-ha-ha League, a superhero sitcom with lots of banter (pre-Bendis too). Tuatara lives a couple seconds in the future. Wild Huntsman eats during meetings. Thunderlord uses his voice powers to sing like Manilow... can my sides survive all the splitting? I'm kidding, it was never going to be Giffen/DeMatteis, but it's fine. Now Godiva is talking about paying tribute. To whom? Dead members (as per JLI comics), including Dr. Mist (he'll get better), Jack O'Lantern, Little Mermaid and Owlwoman. In more current affairs, General Harjavti of Bialya is asking them to stay in the country (recently freed from the Queen Bee) to help against neighboring Pluxa's invading superhero army known as the Hero Group (maybe something got lost in translation). Not everyone agrees, but Tuatara foresees they eventually will, saving Dooley and co. a page, I'm sure.
Godiva's reason for helping? Bialyian hair salons! For the most part, the humor ISN'T based on national stereotypes (well, Rising Sun talks about baseball), but rather on their power sets (she can control her hair like Marvel's Medusa), so that's a mercy. It's still pretty two-dimensional. Not sure what Bushmaster's deal is - he doesn't want to go, and then lets himself crash to the ground rather than let a flyer bring him down after the Guardians' craft is shot down. And I do wish I had the correct musical culture to get Thunderlord's riffs. Let's just fight the Hero Group, shall we?
No one listens to Tuatara (you'd think he would be the accepted team strategist) so things don't initially go well. Note also that Bushmaster CAN fly, so it's a very poor joke that he didn't at first.
At least we're seeing the powers in action. And so it goes. The Hero Group's brick wrestles with the Huntsman and their psi takes down Thunderlord. "Evolvo", a precursor of Evolvo Lad from the Heroes of Lallor, fights Tuatara, etc. The tide turns when Thunderlord taps into his opponent's musical tastes and Rising Sun puts the moves on the Group's handler(!).
And when they start to talk, the two teams realize they've been sold a crock of lizard dung. Bialya may have been the invader here. What they come up is that if both countries want to use international heroes to fight their wars, if both groups say they won't, then no war can take place.
In the end, the two leaders are put in a boxing ring to hash out war concessions. It's all rather silly - JLI-lite - and I still long for a serious, sustained take on the Global Guardians that captured my imagination in Who's Who - that Eduardo Barreto is keen! There's something to this, but having them live in the shadow of the JLI, then adopt their style instead of making them a more traditional alternative to the same essential concept, does them no favors.

You can also imagine that I resented the lack of a Canadian member even then.

Who's Next?
Darkseid's spokesman.

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