Dial H for wHat Me Worry?

This is the end, beautiful friend, the end.

Case 117: Mad About DC #1
Dial Holders: Who indeed!
Dial Type: Watch/Pendant Dial
Dialing: See previous three articles, but we should also mention the Dial bringing up an actual, canonical hero of the DCU (see the last entry in this list). This isn't the first time the Dial's done this, as Robby Reed once became Plastic Man. In this case, the hero knows he shouldn't be a Dialed hero and has his own identity intact, replacing the Dialer's.

Name: The Man with an Infant Gun (evocative of a western, but maybe more Hex than Jonah Hex?)
Costume: Very 90s, faux-Cable kind of look, with metal shoulder pads and pouches all over. A blue shirt with a thick pink collar, pale blue gloves, purple pants, pink boots with a blue stripe coming down from metal knee pads, a silver headband with a red stripe, long blond hair and a goatee. But all you really notice is the giant sci-fi gun with a baby sticking out of it.
Powers: Has a hand cannon that shoots out babies. Possibly, this could be used to stymie adversaries by making them catch the infants. Presumably, it shoots more than one and that tech on top is a sort of transporter/replicator that MAKES them (or snatches it out of cribs).
Sighted: About to shoot a baby, but neither he nor the child are too happy about it.
Possibilities: Would this be a useful tactic against villains? The Cable tribute here is strong, so he's probably from the Great Disaster era. Those stories might be a bit more like Lone Wolf and Cub, and it's always the same baby, who is itself super-powered and can hurt the bad guys before going back to his gun-crib. Such a future can be more satirical than a present-day comic where Superman comes knocking at your door with child protection services behind him.
Integration Quotient: 15% (I halfway convinced myself there, but DC doesn't do Great Disaster comics much anymore - too real!)

Name: Koala Karl (alliteration isn't always a good idea)
Costume: A leotard in blue-green tones, with a darker cape, and eucalyptus frills on arms, flanks and presumably, legs. There's a gray koala face on his chest... and on his shoulders.
Powers: A humanoid koala, presumably with all the relative powers of the animal (climbing trees, vicious claw attacks, and possibly, the ability to transmit koala chlamydia). Like Quantis the Koala That Walks Like a Man, from Ambush Bug #2, he might also be able to charm/disarm with super-cuteness.
Sighted: High on eucalyptus and wracked with the koala clap.
Possibilities: I want to see him deal with Quantis, but otherwise, would be a weird addition to the Global Guardians. Slim pickings for Australians in the DCU. I think he might have been killed during Invasion! when Melbourne was hit.
Integration Quotient: 10% (hard to take seriously, so a joke character to kill off in the background of a crossover event)

Name: Zero Anxiety Girl (very Legion, as in Legion reject)
Costume: A traditional leotard in pink and purple hues. A mask covers her eyes, but not the rest of her face. She has "0%" as a chest emblem.
Powers: The ability to feel no anxiety, which doesn't mean she can't feel stress. Whoever was handing out powers that day was really splitting hairs. It's possible she has no powers at all, but a passion for her personal mission to reduce anxiety, if not in herself, in others.
Sighted: Trying to comfort us and herself by doing thumbs up signs and smiling, but she's super-stressed and it shows through.
Possibilities: DC should have a superhero team devoted to mental health. They would do good acts that reduce the amount of stress, anxiety and situational depression in their city, run a suicide hotline, do community outreach, and fight "psychological" villains like Doctors Psycho and Destiny, Phobia, Psycho-Pirate, etc. Zero Anxiety Girl is their junior member. Plus, we need more black heroines.
Integration Quotient: 20% (mental health is important!)

Name: Found a Penny Jones (I feel like this is a pun of some kind, but I don't get it)
Costume: A dark puce leotard with brown gloves and boots, and a giant penny (shield?) on the back, and another, smaller one on the hood. A big brown bag of pennies is tied to his belt (it has a 1¢ badge on it), and his emblem is a gray ¢ symbol.
Powers: A tracking sense that unerringly leads him to pennies. He is conceivably a good enough fighter that he can use that cent-shield as a weapon as well as defense; alternatively, it's fixed and only protects his back.
Sighted: Finding one and hoping to find five million more so he can buy a new car.
Possibilities: A wild Doom Patrol ally, perhaps, who not only finds pennies, but can throw them like painful missiles. Unfortunately, he seems very thin, so strength and fighting ability are perhaps not in his wheelhouse. One of the most "China Miéville's Dial H" designs in the Mad article, but that's a recursive loop back to non-integrated Dialed hero.
Integration Quotient: 15% (we need to boost his abilities and keep him in the stranger parts of the DCU, but it wouldn't be impossible)

Name: Sock Wetter (better than his mentor, Bed)
Costume: An electric blue leotard with while gloves and tall, sock-like boots. His half-mask covers his eyes with goggles, and shows a shock of red hair. His emblem is a white sick dripping with blue water.
Powers: He can make socks wet - drenched, dripping and leaking, in fact. His own socks, for starters, producing water for his own use, but mighty uncomfortable for adversaries as well.
Sighted: Pooling water under himself.
Possibilities: We might laugh at any team he's in, but he's definitely a team player. If you have a temperature controlling guy (maybe an energy absorption guy who can't make his own ice), for example, suddenly Sock Wetter's powers become the team's first move. But what are we going to do with him in issue 2?
Integration Quotient: 5% (I'd go higher, but that name is just too silly)

Name: Matter-Eater Lad (you'd think this would be a parody name like the others, but no, kind of gives them legitimacy)
Costume: A traditional green, yellow and black costume made of future, stain-proof textiles.
Powers: He can eat and digest anything. Powerful digestive juices could be used as acid, and his teeth can much through concrete. He likely has a Legion flight right, too.
Sighted: Eating a brick and being surprised that he has been dialed. He remembers who he really is - a Legionnaire from the 30th century.
Possibilities: Believe it or not, not only did Matter-Eater Lad exist, but he tried out for the Legion and made it in. I agree with him, he doesn't suck!
Integration Quotient: 100% ('nuff said)

Next: Well, I'm playing a Dial Holder in an RPG, so maybe some homemade heroes are coming your way.