THE INNOCENT: June Lockhart is Sarah Taub, a school teacher who brings students on field trips through Europe. She witnesses a lot of violence on this particular excursion in "Sernia", but is quite convinced Solo is on the right side of history and offers her help without being asked. She has a rather poetic view of things. As for June Lockhart, that's the second innocent in a row who will get cast in Lost in Space next year (as Maureen Robinson, the mom). At this point, she had just finished an extensive run as the mom in Lassie.
REVIEW: Ricardo Montalban plays Satine, a "Sernian" secret agent whose loyalty to his people make him an antagonist to Solo, but since UNCLE is there to help Sernia, also an ally... to a point. And he's the best thing about this moody, Cold War episode, despite being strapped with one of the silliest phobias on record. Like his later, iconic turn as Khan, he's immediately charming and immediately dangerous, a master of disguise (and plot teleportation - hey, how'd he get there?) with a secret identity so deep, we only know who he is because he's played by a famous guest star. And when Solo bests him, he chuckles with admiration, just like us. Both agents want the same thing - a dove-shaped medal that, as it turns out, contains micro-encoded THRUSH intel on its diamonds - but because UNCLE's original contact has been assassinated, Sernia now wants it destroyed lest THRUSH activate its sleeper cells inside the country in retaliation... it's all a bit complicated (not too surprising given Chinatown's Robert Towne wrote this), but I think we eventually get a handle on it. In any case, the growing mistrust and the Spy vs. Spy shenanigans between Solo and Satine make it worth our while even if we don't know what's going on. So it's really too bad about that phobia...
See, Satine has an irrational fear of "children", by which the episode means television teenagers likely in their twenties. Montalban plays it up well - you can sense his discomfort and eventual panic as he gets crowded by young people - but it's rather ridiculous, especially since it has no origin. It's a plot device that connects to the Innocent being a teacher with a tour group, going around dangerous Iron Curtain countries to look at recently dead leaders and the like. Once Solo tries to get out of the country, his train becomes a perfect trap for Satine because of these "delinquents", and that's really why he's been given this unusual trait. Ultimately, Satine joins forces with Solo and the teacher who, with her kids' C.B. radios, manage to evade the state police controlled by THRUSH, with both agents getting what they want - Satine has the dove, and Solo has a picture of the dove taken by one of the teenagers, which I suppose means UNCLE has the means to extract the microfilm information from that one snap(?).
But then, things do start to fall apart towards the end. The episode starts with Solo blowing through a mausoleum to snatch the dove out of a Prime Minister's casket, raining stonework over June Lockhart and her tour group, and then moves to atmospheric East European streets for Satine's first helpful betrayal. The night photography looks great and you feel like you're in The Third Man or something. The night train is a good setting, too, so it's really too bad that the climax is so low-energy. The train breaking through border barriers at low speeds after a brief scuffle, and no immediate circumstances just feels so limp. Solo and Satine's close quarters fights weren't spectacular, but they were justifiable at least. Another let-down is that, when we cut to the Sernian government, we see a man who could THRUSH - in the past, there have been moments when they said "he", as if Thrush were a single person, not an organization - his face hidden, his hands much too expressive, but it doesn't pay off. Perhaps I should say "yet", we'll see.
HEARD ON CHANNEL D: "With a stopwatch, it has been demonstrated that I can draw and fire my gun accurately in one second." (Solo)
"And after you have my trust, what do you intend to do with it? Drug it, drown it or bury it?" (Solo)
You know, Europe is just one big museum, and I walk through it. Museums, cathedrals, mausoleums... guidebook in one hand, and students out of hand. I spend so much time in other people's pasts, I may end up not having one of my own." (Sarah Taub)
BONDED: Just as in From Russia with Love, part of the plot involves a train going through the Balkans. Robert Towne's script for the 1996 Mission: Impossible movie recycles some ideas from his sole UNCLE episode, including the agent list McGuffin and the train finale. Though Ricardo Montalban never starred opposite 007, he would become the grandfather in the Spy Kids movies, putting his UNCLE cred to good use.
REWATCHABILITY - Medium: A bit over-complicated and ends with a damp squib, but Montalban is so good, he should have become a recurring character.
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