Nonsense of the Week

Bad Nonsense
Everybody agrees that the way Spider-Man's Brand New Day retcon is being handled in Amazing Spider-Man #592 is needlessly confusing, a retcon of a retcon, stupid... what have you. If he's unmasked, memories will all come rushing back? Do they just remember his identity, or do they remember his marriage as well? He seems to, which greatly diminishes the sacrifice he made to Mephisto (i.e. the love of his life) and makes his relationships with other girls since rather something of a head scratcher. However, everyone is missing the REAL problem with ASM 592.

The Fantastic Four and Spidey revisit a dimension they visited 2 years ago. They soon find out a lifetime has passed since they were still there. Now it becomes imperative they get home as soon as possible before the time differential makes them lose too much time (to the tune of 13+ days per hour, according to Reed's calculations). This is used to make time advance 2 months for Spidey's supporting cast, creating a new status quo that should be interesting for the reader. What's wrong with this picture?

Well, I'm not a genius like Reed Richards, but it seems to me that if time moves much more quickly in the parallel universe, then comparatively, it should move very slowly in our world - exactly the reverse of what's represented here! 4 hours in the superfast world should be mere seconds in ours!

Good Nonsense
Thankfully, the Green Lantern brick returns in the latest issue of Green Lantern Corps (#35).
I love that brick! It should get its own Darkest Night Special! And don't worry, the Sinestro Corps has a member just as ludicrous to match it:
The Midgard Serpent's friggin' cousin! Or something.

Must play havoc on the tides.


Martin Léger said...

Is that seriously a crime fighting brick of justice? If so...awesome...

Siskoid said...

Oh it IS, Marty!

The first post about it.

MOCK! said...

If he's unmasked, memories will all come rushing back? Now I am not reading ASM (at least since my lazy cousin's subscription ran out and he stopped giving me the comics after he read them....but I digress) but Spidey unmasked in New Avengers #51 to the whole Avengers crew (and now suddenly Jessica Jones remembers him from high school....)

What's up with all of that?

Siskoid said...

Uh... Quesada's back is turned, so everyone tries to undo OMD?

SallyP said...

I can't even deal with Spider-Man any more, which is a shame, as I am fond of the character. However, there are some stretches of reality that even I cannot deal with.

But the Green Lantern scans are indeed fabulous.

Jake said...

It's probably my extensive readings of the Legion of Super-Heroes, but I don't find the memory wipe thing confusing. He made a deal that erased everyone's memories of his identity up to that point, but since events weren't going to be rewritten, the revised continuity had some force cause people to forget with a condition put on it that they will remember Spider-Man's revised continuity if he unmasked, which is still distinct from the original continuity where he made a deal with the devil. Because he didn't make a deal in the current timeline, he made a different sort of deal that is being used to mask the demonic deal to everyone concerned, Spider-Man included.

It's perfectly straightforward.

Siskoid said...

I understand it fine. I think people are saying it's not coherent with either what has been established elsewhere, or with editorial policy.

But that's not the real nonsense here. Explain the time differential snafu and you get a no-prize.

Jake said...

The Sentry punched time?

Siskoid said...

Hahaha, I'll take it!

Doc_Loki said...

MOCK! - Jessica Jones did go to high school with him. It was shown in a flashback in the last collection of her old series, Alias.

But the rest of it, yeah, makes no sense. You know, when Johns did this memory-wipe thing with the Flash a few years back, that actually worked.

MOCK! said...

Dang...and I read ALIAS. I guess I just sort of blocked that retcon out.


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