Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Fashion Nightmares: Who's Who Vol. 1

Opening up the closet of the very first Who's Who, it fares a little better than our last "What not to wear" article, but there a couple of big mistakes. As usual, this is particularly sad for female characters (most, if not all, of whom were designed by men, of course).

For example, the Atlantis entry has this bust shot of Superman's mermaid girlfriend Lori Lemaris sporting the biggest, most awful bowtie in the entire history of the DC Universe. As big a faux-pas as Jimmy Olsen wearing one over the course of the 70s, 80s, 90s and noughts? Quite possibly.
Do non-humans get off with just a warning? I don't think they should. Here's Alley-Kat-Abra from Captain Carrot's Zoo Crew. I don't think she looks too bad, but that's part of the problem. That rubber catsuit is molded a LITTLE tightly to her body, isn't it? I mean, I shouldn't be getting that... that special feeling, from an anthropomorphic animal, should I? Maybe I should just be glad she wasn't drawn with an anatomically correct number of teats.
None too sure about that starched hood either.

When you look at Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld, she looks quite fetching. In fact, Ernie Colon's girls are usually pretty baberrific. But when you look at her accessories... Earrings that look like bunches of grapes? A monkey's head for a belt buckle? Clearly, Gemworld only requires you to wear the appropriate power color and doesn't care about the rest.

Leaving the girls alone for a second, but staying with purple (the color I hate most), the worst-dressed MALES in this issue are the Demons Three. I just can't bring myself to feel in any way spooked by pink demons in booties and loose diapers.

BONUS: WELL-DRESSED MAN

Best dressed goes to Ambush Bug. What??? Well, I've always liked his mask and antennae, and the loose-fitting jim-jams are entirely appropriate for a character who knows he's living in a comic. His costume is how you'd imagine such attire would actually fit on a person. And look! A green character with no purple!

Of course, it helps that he's up against such fashion luminaries as Adam Strange, Aqualad and Anthro the cave-boy.

BONUS: I DON'T NEED NO STINKIN' CLOTHES!

Auron is golden. He's too beautiful to wear anything. He seems to have forgotten that even the Silver Surfer wears shorts. I don't mind him flying through space in the buff. I don't live anywhere near that place. But he really needs a haircut. Unless it's now cool for men to let their locks flow down to the back of their knees.

And get a proper logo for your name while you're at it.

Fashion Nightmares will continue...

3 comments:

Mélanie said...

Lori Lemaris me fait penser à Richard Simmons for some reason.

Pis Auron... pas que j'ai de quoi contre les gars avec de longs cheveux...mais à la première vue, j'ai vraiment cru que c'était une femme qui avait un peu trop trainé. Ben quoi, elles n'ont pas de seins les femmes qui trainent trop!

LiamKav said...

"As big a faux-pas as Jimmy Olsen wearing one over the course of the 70s, 80s, 90s and noughts? Quite possibly."

Hey, bowties are cool.

Siskoid said...

Ironically, now that they're back in fashion, Jimmy's stopped wearing one.