JLA Super-Telethon! Please Give to Our Generic Charity!

Justice League of America #114 (1974) has a super-villain (of sorts) and the return of Snapper Carr, etc., but the really interesting thing about "The Return of Anakronus" is that the JLA is holding a telethon! The first annual national super-thon! I wonder if they had a second. The story begins in the 16th hour of the broadcast, and "United Charities" is already getting 10.2 million dollars with 9 hours to go. So WHAT is this telethon like?
Well, to begin with, the JLA and friends (that's Kid-Flash there) are manning the phones. Don't worry, there are always members on patrol (though sometimes, it's just Elongated Man), and somehow, no big crimes are being committed. Everyone's apparently watching TV. Is it THAT entertaining? Let our hostess Black Canary tell us what's coming up next:
A tour of Atlantis? That would be awesome. Jim Cameron, eat your heart out. (It's 1974, maybe my reference should be to Jacques Cousteau.) It's not wall-to-wall superheroes though, unless Penwick's Playful Pachyderms is a book from the DC implosion I somehow missed. And Frank Sinatra too (he might have deserved a series at least as much as Bob Hope and Jerry Lewis).

So who would YOU like to answer the phone when you call in with your pledge?
Hm. Maybe not Green Arrow. I'm also wondering who's crank calling a charity event run by the world's greatest heroes. Are they hoping to get GA, Elongated Man or Red Tornado? I mean, who crank calls Batman?! Dude will find your house and pay you a visit!

Ok, back to the TV, what's next, Canary?
Oooh, three football teams against Superman? That's the kind of stuff I want to see!
Zatanna levitating families? Not quite so impressive, but still pretty good television. Who knows what else was on there? We only saw about an hour's worth, maybe two, just enough to collect an extra 450 000$.
So what MIGHT the JLA have put on the small screen? Batman introducing old episodes of his 60s TV series? Wonder Woman doing rodeo stunts? A political debate between Green Arrow and Hawkman? An empty stage (actually the Atom juggling grains of sand)? The full breadth of Hal Jordan's imagination (basic green shapes for the beginner Green Lantern)?

Time to call in with some requests!


David said...

Zatanna didn't levitate just any old family. She levitated the King family, which makes it only marginally more entertaining.

Siskoid said...

And I guess there are a lot of family members too!

LiamKav said...

I like how the Elongated Man is, er, elongating his arm to cut off GA's phone, when it looks like he could just do it by reaching over.

(Reed Richards is always doing that as well. Using his stretching powers when it just looks more awkward.)

Siskoid said...

This a guy who just plain ENJOYS his powers.

Also, makes it look interesting for viewers at home who look past the elephants to see what the heroes are doing in the background.


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