Doctor Strangefate Strikes Back

It's another Amalgamonday and DC vs. Marvel Phase II continues. The rules: All Amalgams from any given series see their constituent parts go at it, and the cumulative winner gets to publish those constituents' series. This time, they're fighting to see if they can hold on to the right to publish Dr. Strange (Marvel) or Dr. Fate (DC). Yes, I know they aren't publishing either right now, but maybe it would encourage them to! Let's throw in some extra stakes based on the characters appearing in Doctor Strangefate: If DC loses, they have to cancel Zatanna. If Marvel loses, it's goodbye to the Hulk. How's that for stakes?
Current score: 2-2
The proof: Round 1 - Round 2 - Round 3 - Round 4

Weight Class - "Abominite": Hellgrammite vs. AbominationHellgrammite pros: Will turn you into an icky monster if you don't watch out. Intergang connections.
Hellgrammite cons: Ugly as sin. Looks nothing like the larval fly he's named after. Part of the reason people say Superman has the worst rogues' gallery.
Abomination pros: Stan Lee simply told artist Gil Kane to "make him bigger and stronger than the Hulk and we'll have a lot of fun with him". One of the few supervillains to appear in The Incredible Hulk tv show (remember that one?).
Abomination cons: Strength does not increase with anger. The ears which even the film couldn't bare to try.
Win: No contest. The Abomination smashes Hellgrammite into green and yellow goo, just like we kids used to do to caterpillars in our backyards. 1-0 Marvel

Weight Class - "Myx": Mr. Mxyzptlk vs. Wong
Mr. Mxyzptlk pros: Imp from the 5th Dimension who can pretty much do anything.
Mr. Mxyzptlk cons: If he says his name backwards, he must leave.
Wong pros: More than a manservant, he's got a secret origin and everything. The keys to the Sanctum Sanctorum. Martial arts master.
Wong cons: Has no magical abilities, though you'd think he'd have picked something up by now.
Win: Since Wong is not from Mxyzptlk's multiverse, he has no way to know the imp's Achilles' heel. He gets turned into whatever animal is in his Chines horoscope. 1-1 all

Weight Class - "Skulk": Solomon Grundy vs. the Hulk
Solomon Grundy pros: Swamp zombie with a Southern accent (the genius of Super-Friends). Considered to be "wood" by Green Lantern's ring (unsure how that ability translates to an advantage against other opponents). Named in the song "Superman's Song" (because he rhymes with "money").
Solomon Grundy cons: Too many secret origins. Rotted brain-level intelligence.
Hulk pros: You wouldn't want to make him angry. Potentially strongest Marvel character. The Gray Hulk. Can't hold a job.
Hulk cons: The Red Hulk nonsense. Limited vocabulary. Keeps the purple pants industry in business, and I so hate purple. Small woodland animals rob him of his anger/strength. World War Hulk was neither a war, nor took place across the world.
Win: Solomon Grundy can hold his own against Superman, but we're talking about the Hulk here. White-face make Hulk angry. Hulk SMASH!" And that's that. 2-1 Marvel

Fourway: Weight Class - "Jade Nova": Jade vs. Nova vs. Fire vs. Kyle Rayner (Green Lantern)
Win: While Frankie Rayner is a Herald of Galactus, I'm afraid she can't possibly take on three former Justice Leaguers alone. Though Fire can't burn her, Jade and Kyle can certainly snuff her out. 2-2 all

Threeway: Weight Class - "White Witch": Zatanna vs. Scarlet Witch vs. White Witch
Zatanna pros: The fishnets. Paul Dini's obsession keeps her in business. Can potentially do anything. Her role in Zero Hour.
Zatanna cons: Having to remember those damn reverse-speak spells! Not everyone likes burlesque. Her role in Identity Crisis.
Scarlet Witch pros: Can potentially do anything, including improbably winning a fight.
Scarlet Witch cons: Awkward love triangle involving a robot and her brother. Her role in House of M.
White Witch pros: Trained on Zerox. Physical vessel for the disembodied soul of Amethyst, now a Lord of Order.
White Witch cons: Nowhere near as powerful as other spellcasters in the DCU (until she replaced Mordru). Uses a D&D spell slot scheme.
Win: Depends. Is Paul Dini writing it? I bet he is. He can't help himself. The Scarlet Witch sends some powerful hexes their way, giving Zatanna an improbable bout of laryngitis, but the White Witch has the exact right gargling spell ready to restore it in time for Z to reverse speak Wanda into unconsciousness ("tou ssap eitum yhtlif"). You don't like it? Blame Dini. 3-2 DC

The Main Event!
Threeway: Weight Class - "Doctor Strangefate": Dr. Fate vs. Dr. Strange vs. Professor X
Dr. Fate pros: Serves the Lords of Order directly with powerful Egyptian magicks. A cool tower that's bigger on the inside. His own style of speech bubble.
Dr. Fate cons: Way too many identities over the years. Nabu does most of the driving. The half-helmet.
Dr. Strange pros: The universe's Sorcerer Supreme. A cool house in Greenwich. Spends half his time in the Ditko Dimension. Can merge with universal concepts, destroy and restore universes, and reverse time.
Dr. Strange cons: One of the few Marvel Universe original heroes who can't hold a series.
Professor X pros: Most powerful telepath ever. Patrick Stewart.
Professor X cons: Not a sorcerer, so what's he doing here? Wheelchair-bound. Claremont-scarred.
Win: Dr. Strange works on the universe's scale, and while Dr. Fate has had his moments, he's a guy who basically took down crooks in the 40s. Strange tells Xavier to just sit there while he takes care of business, which he does, SUPREMELY. Just another chance for Nabu to skip vessels really. 3-3 all

Oh my! It looks like we have our first tie! Both companies can continue publishing what they want in the magical spheres, and in our side-game, both Hulk and Zatanna are safe. That's 3-3 overall between the two companies, but join us here next Amalgamonday for another brawl of multiversal proportions!


De said...

What episode of The Incredible Hulk featured the Abomination? Was it the episode with the hillbilly Hulk?

Jayunderscorezero said...

Yay, I got my wish. The system works!

When I did this in my head to try and predict your results I completely forgot about the Myxy/Wong match-up and had Marvel win it. Still, nice to see that both sides win in this instance.

Siskoid said...

He wasn't called that on the show and my memory is very dim. He was blueish and more dissheveled. From looking at episode summaries, it's probably "The First", which is about a guy who turned himself into a monster 30 years before David Banner.

So he's not directly the Abomination, except in my own pocket universe.

Anonymous said...

Yep, it was "The First." Dick Durock, the guy who played Swamp Thing, played the evil Hulk-like creature whose "Banner" was a bitter old guy. I can still remember the nightmare I had about the guy when I was 5.

- Mike Loughlin

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

that Scarlet Witch spanking Zatana pic pretty much left me speechless in the best kind of way.


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